If you’re an at home wife, how do you deal with husband providing you with the finances to manage home and yourselves?
Some problems me and all my married friends have faced are
1 - before marriage we worked and didn’t really care as much for how we spent money
2 - never felt guilty for spending money on own self since we felt ownership
3 - didn’t have to ask for money
4 - was never told that we spend too much when in fact it’s in a limit in our view
And many more such concerns. How do you handle such matters with husband or talk them out with him? He is not used to giving some one money all the time and feels you spend a lot when you on the other hand feel extremely tight on budget.
if there isn't any good reason to stay home, i would suggest to get a job so you could be independant and you do NOT feel bad about spending. if NOT then know that it's your right on your husband which Islam gave you. he is supposed to provide you with whatever is necessary and what fits your husband's budget. you shouldn't feel bad.
Is working now completely out of the question for you?
You also have to look at it this way. When you were working, were you contributing the the household as well, or just spending all your money on yourself on whatever you wished and all those other matters were taken care of by your family?
It can be tricky I guess. You both have to try and come up with something fair where it won't break the bank for him, and also not make you think that he is being a miser. There is a compromise to be made somewhere. You wold know it the best since you are married to him and know what kind of lifestyle you both live in now.
I would say start workin, even a parttime job would give u some money to spend..
I do believe working together can make a couple stronger and will put them in a better financial position.
By workin together you r also able to save some money for urself and ur future (ur kids etc)
Were you not on a budget before marriage? If you were living at home before marriage, didn't contribute to the household finances, and didn't really give thought to how you spent money, then it's time to learn how to cut back and grow up.
As for the other issues, you should talk with your husband. Why don't you guys get a joint account? This way you can spend money without having to ask him. As for how much money to spend on yourself, this is again something you have to discuss with your husband. If you're both spending a certain amount on yourselves, and you feel like this is too little, then you either have to suck it up and realize that your lifestyle is different now, or you guys are going to have to go through your finances together and see whether there's a disparity between how much you spend and how much your husband spends.
In my household, I keep just $400 for me a month and all the rest goes to the wife. I have never asked her what she does with the money since she is the one running the home finances.
What we do is that the husband gives me a set amount of money to spend including groceries etc and its up to me how I spend it.If I need more, I have to ask first and he may or may not give me depending on our financial situation. Husband knows this is how much I shall be spending every month so he doesn't get into the nitty gritty of how much I spent on for example groceries and how much on clothes for the kids.
I am also not working right now. We have a joint account and separate credit cards for each of us. So i never have to ask him for money. But of course it doesnt mean i go out of budget. It just gives me a sense of independence having my own credit card and not having to ask him for money every time i want something.
I'm a SAHM. I never need to ask my husband for money. I have my own credit card and we have a joint account. Whatever I buy is for the house and my family. I never feel guilty if I buy myself some stuff. I guess it also depends on your relationship with your husband. My husband has never made me feel like it's not my money and that I need his permission to use it. But then I have never made him feel like I'm doing him a favor by cooking, cleaning and taking care of our house.
It might sound bad but I really do feel like his money is my money :p
To answer this question, you must understand a typical guy first. For a guy who has lived his life alone, without much dependance its hard for him to adjust too and just start opening up his finances to you. He has married to settle down, and he has to save. Assuming he is not filthy rich he will continue to monitor his and yours finances. But thats where concept of husband wife will help you. He should be able to trust you with finances (You have to give him that confidence by spending wisely) and you should not feel any shame in asking for any money from your husband. No matter how much you earn if you work, he still feels like the main provider.
my wife runs my home finances, infact i get a pocket money out of my own pay :D, that said if i had control of the money I would have the nicest car and all the gadgets in the world but be surviving from paycheque to paycheque, so thankfully wife has taken over and got me under control (jab paisay hee nahi to kahey kee shopping).
Now coming to your point i do understand what you are saying and my wife says the same, she told me she feels guilty spending money if she is not earning but this is a husband`s duty to make your wife feel that this is not just mine or her money it is our money and we should make the best use of it, as per me my wife does not have to ask me what to buy and not to she is a much better spender.
Money can be a touchy subject. How much spending money your husband depends on a number of factors. First of all how much does he earn? Does he want to save for an house? Does he owe money on loans? How secure is his job? Does he have to give money to his family, etc...
Getting a job (even part time) may solve some of your problems. It is entirely different to be working when you are single. May you were able to afford luxuries like designer clothes, handbags and shoes...ESP if you didn't have any other expenses and didn't contribute to your family's household. Marriage changes that. Think about spending money with your HEAD NOT YOUR HEART. If you think I deserve this and that then you will be miserable. BEING FINANCIALLY STABLE IS PRICELESS. Things are things and they cannot give you long term peace of mind.
I'm a SAHM. I never need to ask my husband for money. I have my own credit card and we have a joint account. Whatever I buy is for the house and my family. I never feel guilty if I buy myself some stuff. I guess it also depends on your relationship with your husband. My husband has never made me feel like it's not my money and that I need his permission to use it. But then I have never made him feel like I'm doing him a favor by cooking, cleaning and taking care of our house.
It might sound bad but I really do feel like his money is my money :p
this sounds great- i wish i could say it was my situation too!
if the wife is working and earns her money..more than the husband infact and the husband suggests a joint account..and he tells her that her income is HIS money too....does this seem right?can a husband claim his right over his wife's salary?
if the wife is working and earns her money..more than the husband infact and the husband suggests a joint account..and he tells her that her income is HIS money too....does this seem right?can a husband claim his right over his wife's salary?
A husband can technically claim his right over his wife`s income, however would i do i the answer would definitely be NO. It is a very twisted and totally different topic. The way i look at it when i accepted my wife in my NIKAAH i accepted or took the responsibility of her livelihood and happiness upon myself, so if i consider that the she has every right over my income but i dont think it should be the other way because deep down it doesnt feel right as well any normal MARD would never bear such a thing that his wife has to go earn and i take control of that.