HUSBAND AND WIFE JOKES
Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I
want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
"One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him
suffer now."
Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife
I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my
wife in another man's arms.
" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son,
she didn't get the fax."
Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were
first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would
bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around
barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the
dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the
same service!"
Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of
her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a
coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"
Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple
next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they
are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her
well enough."
Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she
starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and
nobody dares answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you
do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors
of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always
came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my
husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my
bed I called out:
"Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.
