Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
Actually I believe candy_apple has asked a milliondollar question ...
What is obligation?
What does it mean? - wife and kids FIRST
We are not obliged first of all to make lots of money because rizq is from Allah (SWT) and hence it is in effect out of our direct control. We must simply look for good halal work and put effort in to that, if the opportunity arises or we make it arise then to take the opportunity for more pay is advisable.
Certain family members have a right over our wealth such as the parents of men. Let's use them as an example. If a family obtains an income the family will pay off taxes and bills and routine portions of debts BEFORE spending on themselves. Giving money to parents therefore should be treated like a bill. That we portion an amount that we must pay them before we enjoy the income. This income should be called the NET purified income or NPI for short.
That is after all outgoings have been resolved then the remainder is the NPI.
If then from the NPI one chooses to give to the parents, over spends on himself or family, putting himself in financial difficulty - that would be incorrect. To give away from ones own NPI to an extent that the remainder is just enough to survive on is actually a very high and pious standing, but it does not come without it's trials such as disarray in those who are close to us. To consume all of the NPI oneself (i.e. on wife and kids) is permissible, but it is not classed as a mark of excellence. So this order should be followed as an order of precedence:
1) Give your dues (i.e. taxes, bills, routine pay offs of loans, legal portions to inheritors, etc) MUST DO
The following is optional but presented in order of greater reward:
2) From NPI give all to charity except what one can barely survive on
3) From NPI give some to charity and keep an amount which provides some luxuries
4) From NPI give none and consume it all
So from this process it becomes important to distinguish what is meant by FIRST. First after the dues are taken account of or first after getting an income?
Example parents need to be given their nisab before we take from the income, but any extra can be given to them (better) so long as that extra does not put us into financial ruin in which case it becomes better not to give them extra.
THEREFORE and HOWEVER <<<<<<
If we earn only enough to put the basics on the table then the rulings for dues is relaxed but not removed. It then becomes 'good' to give away but not obligatory. In which case if a family is struggling then it is permissible to consume the amount of the initial income - such is the case of those who do not need to pay zakat.
All of this is how I have understood the matter from my learning when I had to apply it in my own life and situation.