I know in Islam, a husband is supposed to support the wife and children fully - financially speaking. To what extent is he required to support them. Is his only obligation to provide food on the table, clothes on their back and a roof over their head…even if the clothes and roof over the head are very basic or sub par? Or is he supposed to provide for them so they at least live comfortably and have decent home/clothes?
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
This might help inshaAllah. A thread i posted a few weeks ago.
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
whats the definition of "decent"?
Usually it shud be according to means available to the husband and wives understand that. Problems usually happen when husband spends money on other relatives as well.
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
^ so is a husband allowed to spend money on his other relatives or is his first obligation to his wife and kids?
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
By decent I mean...not living in a ghetto...living in a clean good apartment or home in a good neighbourhood and having nice clothes and enough to eat....not like flea market clothes.
^ so is a husband allowed to spend money on his other relatives or is his first obligation to his wife and kids?
Firstly, i must say that i am not a scholar, so all what i say is my personal opinion.
I think first obligation should be to the kids, i am excluding the wife, coz i think, both husband and wife shud make sacrifices if required. But ofcourse we do not live in isolated world, at times our relatives also need help, and personally, i think, best charity is to help relatives. I wud say that if relatives spend that money on "ayyashi" then it shud not be given to them, but, if its a necessity then help shud be extended. In the end its a judgemnt call.
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
Common sense, people. You help people where you can. You take care of your own family first, because no one else will.
And FYI, why exclude the wife??? She gave birth to those kids, so you better well give her respect. The first person that gets excluded when it comes down to money crunch, is YOU.
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
Actually I believe candy_apple has asked a milliondollar question ...
What is obligation?
What does it mean? - wife and kids FIRST
We are not obliged first of all to make lots of money because rizq is from Allah (SWT) and hence it is in effect out of our direct control. We must simply look for good halal work and put effort in to that, if the opportunity arises or we make it arise then to take the opportunity for more pay is advisable.
Certain family members have a right over our wealth such as the parents of men. Let's use them as an example. If a family obtains an income the family will pay off taxes and bills and routine portions of debts BEFORE spending on themselves. Giving money to parents therefore should be treated like a bill. That we portion an amount that we must pay them before we enjoy the income. This income should be called the NET purified income or NPI for short.
That is after all outgoings have been resolved then the remainder is the NPI.
If then from the NPI one chooses to give to the parents, over spends on himself or family, putting himself in financial difficulty - that would be incorrect. To give away from ones own NPI to an extent that the remainder is just enough to survive on is actually a very high and pious standing, but it does not come without it's trials such as disarray in those who are close to us. To consume all of the NPI oneself (i.e. on wife and kids) is permissible, but it is not classed as a mark of excellence. So this order should be followed as an order of precedence:
1) Give your dues (i.e. taxes, bills, routine pay offs of loans, legal portions to inheritors, etc) MUST DO
The following is optional but presented in order of greater reward:
2) From NPI give all to charity except what one can barely survive on
3) From NPI give some to charity and keep an amount which provides some luxuries
4) From NPI give none and consume it all
So from this process it becomes important to distinguish what is meant by FIRST. First after the dues are taken account of or first after getting an income?
Example parents need to be given their nisab before we take from the income, but any extra can be given to them (better) so long as that extra does not put us into financial ruin in which case it becomes better not to give them extra.
THEREFORE and HOWEVER <<<<<<
If we earn only enough to put the basics on the table then the rulings for dues is relaxed but not removed. It then becomes 'good' to give away but not obligatory. In which case if a family is struggling then it is permissible to consume the amount of the initial income - such is the case of those who do not need to pay zakat.
All of this is how I have understood the matter from my learning when I had to apply it in my own life and situation.
By decent I mean...not living in a ghetto...living in a clean good apartment or home in a good neighbourhood and having nice clothes and enough to eat....not like flea market clothes.
If it's beyond his means, then the husband does not have a duty to get a nice apartment in a good neighborhood or flashy, expensive clothes. A lot of people live in affordable housing in not-so-nice neighborhood, and wear second-hand clothes, so there's nothing wrong with that.
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
What if the husband CAN afford a decent apartment and nice clothes for his family, but if he was to spend money on his parents (who have some money of their own) then he would not be able to fully provide a nice standard of living to his wife and kids?
Should he provide a SUB PAR standard of living to his wife/kids just so he can squeeze in supporting the parents? And what if the parents get pension every month but the husband refuses to take ANY money from them to help out with expenses at home just because he wants to take care of them, but this results in again, a sub par standard of living for the wife/kids?
What if the husband is helping the parents and these are the same parents, who never spent a dime on him but will always spend on their daughters and most likely will leave anything (inheritence) to their daughters and nothing for him?
What if the husband CAN afford a decent apartment and nice clothes for his family, but if he was to spend money on his parents (who have some money of their own) then he would not be able to fully provide a nice standard of living to his wife and kids?
Should he provide a SUB PAR standard of living to his wife/kids just so he can squeeze in supporting the parents? And what if the parents get pension every month but the husband refuses to take ANY money from them to help out with expenses at home just because he wants to take care of them, but this results in again, a sub par standard of living for the wife/kids?
What if the husband is helping the parents and these are the same parents, who never spent a dime on him but will always spend on their daughters and most likely will leave anything (inheritence) to their daughters and nothing for him?
So you came up with what you wanted to say.
This is the universal problem of females............. To separate the husband from Parents and Brothers............ Don't even thinking that we as Muslims are having utmost responsibility towards our Parents. Even having their pensions, he is right to help his parents.
Why the inheritance should go only to daughters??????? Why not to your husband as well??
Common sense, people. You help people where you can. You take care of your own family first, because no one else will.
And FYI, why exclude the wife??? She gave birth to those kids, so you better well give her respect. The first person that gets excluded when it comes down to money crunch, is YOU.
wish everyone had this common sense these days everywhere people are just looking for some scriptural support for anything..
simple if it hurts you it might hurt others too .. follow this principle you won't have to go perusing sciptures for anything..
Re: Husband supporting the wife - in Islam.
This is not MY husband we are talking about.
I'm not even married yet.
I'm just asking quetions, that based on the scenario above, is it right to provide a sub par standard of living to your wife and kids (especially if the husband's parents have their own pension) and will leave him nothing in the end.
The inheritence (if any at all) will go to the daughters because the husband's dad only spends on his daughters and only helps the daughters and never his son.
And don't be so quick to jump to conclusions that females just want to separate the husband from his family. That is NOT the case at all. Females just want to make sure their OWN family is taken care of and their lives are not compromised by him taking care of his family. If he was filthy rich and could take care of BOTH the parents and his wife/kids without compromising their standard of living...this would be great and I'm sure no female would have a problem then. The problem arises when the husband doesn't have the means to take care of both comfortably....who is his FIRST obligation? Wife and kids right?