First and foremost a marriage needs to be strong. There are many needs in a marriage for both partners and if they are being mutually fulfilled, then there should be little reason for a husband to stray.
I think it's important to have mystery in a marriage. It's healthy to take a break from your husband and pursue your own interests. Give your husband a chance to miss you. A little reasonable amount of distance is healthy not only for you but the marriage as well. And it's also good to be spontaneous. Marriage can get boring if it becomes a routine. So it's good to go on vacations together, randomly surprise each other with gifts, etc.
But other than these things, your husband is an adult. There are temptations everywhere and in the end your husband is going to do what he wants to do. You can't stop him. If a guy's gonna cheat, he'll find a way to cheat. Watching him like a hawk is not going to prevent him from straying. Rather, it would make things worse. There are beautiful huntresses everywhere.......but it depends on how strong and committed a guy is and how much he values the marriage and fears God. Can't stop him, watch him like a hawk, or breathe down his neck. There should be trust. Living in fear (although it is natural) is not healthy.
Besides how will you know if you have a guy worth holding on to if you don't let him go.......and allow him to demonstrate his faithfulness or lack thereof amidst all the pretty temptations?
From my personal point of view I want an equal in my wife. Not someone has the same qualities. But someone who I can respect, trust and someone who will look out for me as an equal. Most women will beat me with a stick for what I say next but it is what guys have said or I know.
Women are our comfort zone. While women go to other women for comfort, men do not go to men. They look for the female companion they feel most comfortable with and look for emotional support from them. That in this case is the wife. And frankly it has to do with attitude. A guy when comes home from a rough day in general be it work, family or what not. He just wants to be pampered. This is not an every day thing.
The day i was robbed in Darfur, I was inches away from calling my ex. Its just one of those things. I have seen the same with my other male friends. **** happens, you feel like crap, a girl is 99% of the time your pillar for emotional support.
Also men need distance. If they are worried about something just give him some chai or whatever he likes to drink and just cuddle up to him while he sits their silently. Let him broach the issue. Physically the fact that you sit next to him and wait for him to start and just give him that sort of comfort is a big factor.
Not everything has to be verbal. Simple gestures mean a lot. Men are more than the simpletons made out in movies :p
I am rambling but this is a rather large and complex issue and it changes from man to man. More specific situations would be better at answer this question.
From my personal point of view I want an equal in my wife. Not someone has the same qualities. But someone who I can respect, trust and someone who will look out for me as an equal. Most women will beat me with a stick for what I say next but it is what guys have said or I know.
Women are our comfort zone. While women go to other women for comfort, men do not go to men. They look for the female companion they feel most comfortable with and look for emotional support from them. That in this case is the wife. And frankly it has to do with attitude. A guy when comes home from a rough day in general be it work, family or what not. He just wants to be pampered. This is not an every day thing.
The day i was robbed in Darfur, I was inches away from calling my ex. Its just one of those things. I have seen the same with my other male friends. **** happens, you feel like crap, a girl is 99% of the time your pillar for emotional support.
Also men need distance. If they are worried about something just give him some chai or whatever he likes to drink and just cuddle up to him while he sits their silently. Let him broach the issue. Physically the fact that you sit next to him and wait for him to start and just give him that sort of comfort is a big factor.
Not everything has to be verbal. Simple gestures mean a lot. Men are more than the simpletons made out in movies :p
I am rambling but this is a rather large and complex issue and it changes from man to man. More specific situations would be better at answer this question.
Thanks CM. That was very insightful and encouraging.
The visual factor is sufficient enough for me to prefer a designer purse. Provided the price is reasonable as well./quote
OOOHPS.....wrong thread. Supposed to be in the fashion forum. But in an effotr to make ithe above post relevant to this thread on marriage.......a designer purse, I'm sure, will make a wife very happy.
okay I really hate to do this but since CM is willing to admit something that is tantamount to him handing out sweets to everyone I will be mature and push aside the man hater in me and part with a few words of advice sniff
argghh no I just cant myself do it... I just cant!
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How To Make Your Husband a Happy Man :)
Do not nag at him as most women do - thats what girlfriends are there for honey, he really doesn't need to know the sordid details between Kirin and the reason why she just would not admit the truth behind the whole incident last Eid
When you find him on his own, studying/reading make sure to give him a shoulder massage, start at the neck, move to the shoulders working out the tension from the muscles, then use your fingers to massage his scalp as well. (Under the chin, the neck, arms are a good place where tension gathers also after a stressful day)
Make it a rule that you never leave the room he is in without giving him something to look forward to, something he might enjoy and take tea/coffee his favorite as a nice distraction from his work - a parting kiss (on the forehead) would be a good idea before you leave
Talk to him when he seems distracted. If he is upset tell him something funny to alleviate the tension, eventually he will get it off his chest.
FGS do not leave him for extended periods of time for your brother's wedding etc. Could you imagine him leaving you all alone? No. So don't make him go through the same thing either. He may be a man but he needs that companionship even more than you and I do - we can unload on others but you may be the only one he can unload on.
Support him no matter what. It does not matter what other people say, believe in him and defend him in front of anyone and everyone, do not ever doubt him (unless he starts saying things like 'cows can fly over the moon' thats when you should start getting worried)
Always respect his parents, especially his mother. Do not ever raise your voice and never be rude to her. Be grateful to the lady who gave birth and raised the man who became your husband. Tell her what a good job she has done with her son, speak kindly and if she is nice and you are mean to her (and I find out - I will personally hunt you down and --------)
Have an orderly environment at home. Avoid visitors when your husbands tired and strained
If he doesn't want to go on a social visit don't make him. If he doesn't like Bubbly's husband don't try to make him. If he refuses to do the dishes and the ironing don't make him, (its a male ego thing for some men)
9.Pamper him so he knows that every time you touch him he will get sukoon from you and your words. Treat him like a king, he will love it, treat him like he knows best and you are willing to listen to whatever he has to say, that he is important and everything he says means a lot to you.
If he cheats, you can ignore all of the above and take him apart at the seams. Okay? And if you need any advice in that department just PM me.
As a self-proclaimed chauvinist I will only pay you half because you are female!
Yeah and as a woman in the know I will sue you all the way to America in emotional, mental damage and for psychological trauma
so what's it going to be? Your yearly paycheck or a measly 200 bucks, spit it out buddy or I'll get uncle Antonio on the phone and you won't be a happy camper then