We have been married for 5 years mashallah. And it’s a love marriage. We were friends and 2 years in a long distance relationship we got married. He was in UK then after marriage we are settled in his hometown.
He’s a nice husband but the problem is he always wants to go on holidays with his friends. We haven’t even gone for a single vacation ever since we got married. He always says he doesn’t have that much money to take me and my daughter and going with friends is easy and cheaper. In the last 5 years he has gone for like 5-6 holidays for a week or 3-4 days. His friends are more of a priority to him than me. He’s a loving father but he doesn’t understand my problem at all. Is this fair? Can only men have a right to get a break. For how long m I supposed to wait for his ideal family holiday savings.. Please tell me if I’m overreacting. I’m just so mad at him
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
His friends come from very conservative families who would never allow bahus to go out or something like that. So hanging out together doesn’t even work. I don’t understand how their wives not have a problem with this selfish behaviour.. I m fed up of fighting n explaining
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
If married men here spend too much time with guys people think weird thoughts about them. My wife would never let me go for even a day. I had to send her to vacation at my sisters house with kids and staying behind was the best vacation I ever had.
Just tell him you want to go on vacation with your friends alone also. Oh I went camping by myself a couple of times. She doesn’t like sleeping on the ground in a forest in the cold weather.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
hmmm I think thats not fair…though I dont stop my husband from meeting up with his friends but when he plans for himself he says I should go on a vacation too but yeah u have got me thinking he never says anything about OUR vacation…maybe cuz our situation is like that we cant go together…
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
You are not overreacting. Your husband’s behavior is ridiculous. My husband does to on “boys trips” with his friends alone but we also take plenty of trips on our own.
You should sit down and plan a vacation for you, your husband and your daughter. Then figure out how much it would cost. Let your husband know that you want him (and you) to save any extra money you guys have for this vacation. And until there is enough money saved up for this vacation, neither you OR him gets to spend money on any other major luxury items (including him going on vacation by himself).
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
this is common in pakistan. not all men are like that but relatively young men are very close to their guy buddies and that bond is very strong. especialy those who have lived in hostels. can u befriend his friend wives? that will help trust me.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
I know and sometimes they hold hands in public also.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
^ yeah, what’s wrong with that, mr. ‘I’m in love with white people and their culture’? You’re going to judge other people’s culture based on western norms? I saw your thread about appreciating white people but you have nothing but negativity for your own race. How about you say something nice once in a while for your own kind, eh?
For someone as happy and enlightened as you would have us believe that you are, you seem very negative. Always looking for approval for your lifestyle while looking down on others’.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
When did I say that I am against this bromance, go for it hold hands, wrap the arm around the shoulder etc in public..lol, it is mostly the ladies there complaining about their husbands being more in love with their male friends than their own wives. What is wrong in appreciating kindness and caring by people of other races. I felt a lot of gratitude when the lady paid for my parking and said merry Christmas. I don’t believe in divisiveness and just wanted to point out that despite the media attention of the hate most people here are caring and kind.
We chose our own values here, I chose a mixture of values from all over the world. Even parents here don’t tell their children after 18 as to what their morality should be.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
Some families are unfortunately too regressive and think vacations are only for men. In my dad’s family women didn’t really do vacations. I don’t believe any of my tayas have ever taken their wives out for a family outing that didn’t involve a wedding or a funeral. All the men did trips wih friends in their youth and that was that. My dad really liked to travel with his friends too but he was the first to take his wife for a honeymoon and our subsequent family vacations. He does say that with friends you can pretty much sleep on the floor and it’s really cheap but with family you have to think about safe, hygienic accommodations. But he’s not a bachelor anymore so acting like one is pointless.
Honestly, if he wanted to take you to vacation he would have done that years ago. He doesn’t want to change the status quo and he doesn’t think you deserve a family vacation. Any guy who wanted to go out with family would not be going out on his own and saving money instead. If you want things to change then either look into finding other families that could merge costs or just go out on your own.
He won’t change because of how he was raised and if you’re going to stay at home waiting for him because bahus don’t do this and that then you’re also letting family tradition dictate how you live.
Re: Husband holidays only with friends..
When I lived there i knew many guys went to Thailand with their friends, I hope that is not going on.
You don’t need to spend monies to have fun. You can have a weekly tradition of going to the local beach, parks, attractions and dining out. We used to take vacations in 5-star resorts and then we started camping and that is vastly more enjoyable.