Someone posted this on fb and it received so many likes. So it seems to me that many ladies feel they should put their husbands before their kids. I can’t wrap my head around this concept. At least not when kids are really young. My daughter is my entire WORLD and yes I love her MORE than my husband and I am not ashamed to admit it. What do you ladies think? Do you put hubby first or kids?
Re: Husband before kids?
There is no comparison between the two..
My husband is my husband and my kids are my kids, I don’t love one of them more than the other because it’s a different kind of love for each. You can’t compare it, it’s like comparing oranges and apples, IMO.
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I read the article. frankly its a sensational title with an already old message. There are no specific examples given of how she puts her husband before kids …
the overall message that I took away was to make time for self and as couple to reconnect and rekindle/maintain the romance … meh … nothing new or controversial in that.
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Am I putting husband before kids if I let my daughter cry for a few mins while Im in the kitchen cooking dinner before he gets home? If yes then many women probably put husbands before the kids everyday. Maybe everyone else waits for hubby to take charge of kids before they step foot into the kitchen but honestly that simply doesnt work for us.
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Not a mom yet…but I do get the message of making sure your husband feels like a priority because he IS a priority.
There’s nothing wrong with that…I hope I can balance the two well and always make time for the people who are essential components of my little family.
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The thing is- husbands aren’t helpless babies and wives don’t exist to solely comfort them and make them happy, relative to what mothers do for babies. Your husband is a grown man and an equal partner in your life and in your child’s life. If dinner isn’t on the table and he throws a **** fit, maybe you should hand him the phone and a take out menu instead of feeling guilty about it.
This whole concept of putting husbands before kids is stupid IMHO and made up-- you’re both adults and you will both figure out how to spend time together post-baby’s arrival. Duh. Hopefully he wants to parent your child and be a spouse to you too, and not just be a passive sleepover guest in your house. It’s not your responsibility as a wife to pamper a grown man and “manage” your time together. You’re both in it- you’ll both figure it out. Will it take time? OF COURSE IT WILL but guess what, buttercup? It’s called being a grown ass human being, in a marriage, and a parent.
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^ What you’re saying is true.
I guess I was thinking more along the lines of making the COUPLE a priority.
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I can’t compare between the two. I totally agree with Aaze.
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not even half as exciting as hasbandman putting MIL before wife.
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^Lol, as always queer makes his point with humor.
Anyhow, I would like my wife to put kids before me.
I have not read the article, but I dont think that article is implying that when your baby is hungry, and your hubby is hungry, then serve the husband first. Even your hubby will not agree to that.
Because you guys are young moms, you are automatically assuming that the kids are young.
Western philosophy of life is that kids are gone after eighteen, but spouse is there for the rest of life, so that relation is more stable and long term part of your life, so you have to invest in that relationship more than the one with your kids. Same is true for a husband giving priority to his wife.
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And yet you frame your response in terms of you fulfilling your husband’s needs vs. those of your child. I don’t think anyone, specially parents, will disagree with you though. I don’t. The point the article is making is more about taking care of the relationship, not the person. The relationship with spouse is different from the relationship with your child. While you are busy taking care of the needs of the baby, you don’t want the relationship with your husband to suffer. Most of us guys will understand if a new mom is not able to cook for us, but they won’t forget it if you take the relationship itself for granted.
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why does their need to be a chronological order.
newsflash: humans are capable of loving different people in different capacities.
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Cos that’s the context of the discussion and the article, no?
All I’m saying is- maintaining a healthy relationship falls on the shoulders of both husband and wife. Both of them are parents and both of them are in a marriage. It’ll take work from both. So why the whole “oh, as a wife, i must put my husband first before my kids” in order to have a healthy marriage? If you sense things aren’t the way they were pre-kids, and frankly they won’t be, then make the effort and step up. Maintain your relationship. Your wife won’t easily forget if you start taking her for granted either ![]()
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Kids always
U can always get.another husband lol.
Seriously there’s.no comparison who do I love.more my kids my husband my parents? Difficult but if I had to had to had to, kids would.win over husband and parents ![]()
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I totally agree with SGC that the responsibility to make the relationship work should not fall solely on the mother. It should fall upon both the mother and father.
I find in our community, a lot of women treat their husbands like a king in their home and will ALWAYS put him before kids (even when kids are young). This I find very odd.
For example my MIL to this day ALWAYS puts my FIL before all three of her kids. Mind you her kids are now grown adults (although they still live at home) but yes I can understand her doing this NOW only because they are ADULTS, however, from the way she talks I can tell she put my FIL first even when the kids were really young.
My MIL told me how my FIL never helped her raise her kids (meaning he did not share in the day to day task of helping to raise them as in feeding, bathing them, putting them to bed etc.) nor did he do any cooking, cleaning or even grass cutting/picking up snow. He STILL doesn’t do anything but sit on his butt all day. My MIL had to do EVERYTHING literally including taking care of her MIL (hubby’s grandma) who by the way treated my MIL like a slave always and never appreciated a single thing she did for her. Oh and did I mention she also worked full-time outside the home too! Anyway, my MIL told me how she never got to spend the amount of time with anyone of her kids that she now spends with my daughter. Keep in mind I live with in-laws and yes she spends time with my daughter, but not nearly as much as I do. So if she spent EVEN less time with her OWN children…I find that so incredibly SAD! All this because my stupid FIL couldn’t be bothered to lift a finger to help her. This is why I don’t think it is right to put husband before kids (especially if he doesn’t even deserve it). It affected 2 out of 3 of her children. I see negative effects in my husband and one of his siblings from not having enough time with the mother.