Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
STA..are you listening?!?
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Majority of the users know my posts, it was clearly mentioned when I first posted on GS. If that is not the case no one associate me with such stuff in various threads of GS.
Therefore your first claim on source citation is rejected. If I take your claim more lightly, I still have immunity because we are not in university/college and neither it was assignment.
Anyways,
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/527931-men-looking-outside.html#post8562535
Not everyone reads everything you post. As far as us not being in uni/college, you’re trying to pass off someone else’s ideas as your own. Atleast paraphrase everything you post otherwise it comes off as YOUR IDEAS. I HONESTLY hope that you aren’t going to be taking majority of that article as serious advice for your marriage. All jokes aside, that stuff is crazy. And if you don’t realise that, Allah help you.
Secondly, whatever user posted on public forum, it becomes public property and more specifically GS owns the rights of our content.
**LOL? Yes. Whatever you post here automatically bypasses any privacy or copyright laws and is owned by gs. **
Thirdly, what OP asked I responded accordingly with my best ability instead of pointing other members.
Referring back to first point, no you didn’t, you just pointed out someone else’s ideas. If thats the best of your ability then even 5yos would be too smart.
Fourthly, you are directly attacking me.
what is your problem? I can see sudden change in your attitude. ARE YOU OK?
**Well you’re quite the hypocrite. You’re cool with attacking me openly but need tissues if someone does it to you. If you want to be called a man, act like a man. Man up. **
Lets other members decide who is rude/mean here.
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Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
am confused...isn't CoughCough a dude?
He knows. I think he was just having a go at me. Can't be too sure :/
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
^ ohhh okkk :D
I dont see the huge deal with the answer STA bro has given… The OP was lookin for a serious answer on a question…
Even if the answer is copied from google or even facebook ( cuz apperently 10000’s of them are likin it) its not a big deal… I mean we r copy pasting bridal pix on this forum aswell…even of brides who aint aware that their pic s circulatin on the web…yeh to bas eik sawal ka jawab hi hey 
About the hair brush…it is important for a wife to groom herself for her hubby… If u look like bloody mary 24/7 i can imagine that a hubby will get turned off ( even if the love is that strong)… If u have read or searched on the internet u would have found a same answer but for the husbands…
So let us not make a huge deal about it…the answer given was good…one doesnt has to agree with all the points…but it can b used as a directin line… And mostly it are the basic things every wife has to do…even a gori would agree on the points STA mentioned in his post 
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
1- CC and MM: you both have real problem. If you are disagree with my comment, you are feel free to disagree, but attacking one on personal level is not good practice. I said that your husband will beat you, which was a joke, because I know you are not female. But the thing you started was really lame. again, I am still standing on my words with each and every words of article and source was mentioned. You are again acting like a child. and using very weak argument of either my comment was read by members or not.
2- Yes, it is. You should read FAQ of this forum.
3- Therefore I dont want to argue with you. I have mentioned my reason in my previous post.
4- You started first, but I never attacked you.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
I hate to burst your bubble, but you're arguing. That means I'm smarter than you since you don't argue with people dumber than you.
I never called you dumb or attacked you personally. I said I would think twice before I take this advice. Even IF you take that badly, it's not what you have said so why worry at all?
Are you kidding me? You openly called me dumber than you, and thats REAL dumb. I'm sorry STA, but as evidence will show it was infact you who started first and you DID attack me.
SL- Like I said, most of the advice in that post I would STRONGLY disagree with. The op asked how to be a good muslim and wife overall. I am not going to sit here and point out everything from that post and why I disagree with it, because to me its self explanatory, but for you sister I will post some of the stuff I disagree with.
Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
**Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
****The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
**Aside from these ones, alot of the stuff posted is too specific. All men are different. All men handle things differently and want things differently. For example, " You don't learn to become a good wife on an online forum. Sure you can learn some tips and tricks. But the most important advice I can give is to communicate with the husband and be sensitive to his needs. Any good man will return the favour and be sensitive to yours. Talk to him and get to know him to find out what he likes and what he dislikes. An online forum or tutorial cannot tell you that.
Every man is different. Learn about yours. No where in that entire ramble did it have anything about learning about him but rather giving rules.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Attacking you?
Lol
Cool your jets there cowboy. How exactly did I “attack” you?
The only problem I have is, yes, the OP asked a serious question to which a serious answer should have been given. She asked the Islamic requrements. Not what a misogynistic husband would require of his wife.
“brush you hair”.. “Don’t leave the house with out his permission” .. “let your husband win in a race because you’re a female and men are supposed to be stronger than you. how dare you think of winning”
Really? Please explain where in Islam it says a wife has to brush her hair and act as though she’s beneath her husband in order to be a successful wife?
And if you want to converse with me, address me directly. Don’t link me with another member and assume we’re tag teaming up against you.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
DJ play some fight music!!!!!!!!
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Guys, lets all take a chill pill and instead of taking shots at each other lets all just concentrate on the topic. If someone really feels insulted I am sure Sahar or the Life1 Mods will sort it out. :k:
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Everyone please calm down. All points have been made. Any further back and forth comments will be removed. Let's get back to the topic at hand.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Faexa Khan: Let me know if you need further assistance/help.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
"The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach"**
The way to a man's heart is through a different organ.
To misquote Chris Rock (I guess) "Aint no 100 ways to make your man happy, like it says on the Cosmopolitan cover. There are just 4..."
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Maybe some will consider me nuts......and that's fine (to each his own) :).......but many of the suggestions in sta's list include common sense.
It's not unreasonable to want to look well for your spouse, take care of them in basic ways, to smell nice for them, to flirt to keep the magic alive, to support your spouse in their interests or at the very least talk about them, to avoid nagging or humiliating your spouse, to avoid criticism of parents as its a sensitive topic for most, etc. many of these suggestions you hear from your mothers, your grandmothers, aunts, etc. There is wisdom in them. I hear such suggestions even from my married cousins and friends who are pretty young....and no they are not paindu....they're educated. Heck I wouldn't be surprised if some of these suggestions are mentioned in some Islamic resources like ahadith. But like I said they make sense. The genders are wired differently and therefore what's considered perfectly normal tendency among one gender such as venting (among women)....guys tend not to have a lot of patience with that. So accommodations have to be made.
Hmm, the idea that u should only do these things out of love and not as a sense of duty...I'm not sure I entirely agree with that. There will be days when one has less than warm and fuzzy feelings for their spouse and children, but that doesn't mean you drop all responsibilities toward others and toward making a home. How does one show love to another? By taking care if them. By supporting them. How does one show support? Well one way is to fulfill ur responsibilities toward them and to show consideration for the others needs and feelings. To say that the only duty is to show love.........err.......well that's really just a very broad statement. Love is manifested in our actions, which speak louder than words..........and fulfilling responsibilities toward your spouse is a reflection of that. How does a mother show love to her children? It's not only thru sweet words n hugs n kisses.......it's shown in the responsibilities she fulfills toward her kids.....even when they're driving her nuts.
Now the items in the list can apply to BOTH genders...not just the wife. If that's the argument, I can understand that. ******But I wouldn't shun the list entirely.
Reminds me of something my mom used to say....that don't rush to shun a suggestion just because it comes from a beggar ....or wait was it an inanimate object like a wall?
******Anyhoo, the point was don't be blinded by your bias/disdain but calmly consider the suggestion as it might make some sense.
Husband and wife relationship in islam
I agree with redvelvet. Well said, and STA mentioned all the relevant points.these things if considered well would contribute a lot of good things into our marital relationships. Its not about starting comparison of husband and wives like who does less or who doesnt. Compromises are always here and mostly comes from women side but these should not be used to portray yourselves as a poor, silly women. Thats a requirement for any relationship to work. Being a married and a working women i still agree to STA points, im not good at all of these infact fewer only but i still agree it would have been better if i take care of little more things.
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
ok ppl thanx alot for your help... i thinf the life spend with the teachin of islam is the best lyf n the relation built accounding to what ALLAH said is everlasting and pure... i want to spend peaceful lyf wid my hubby n his family.. plz ppl pray for me.. i wills hare some stuff if i read sumthin useful...Jazakallah..
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Duties of Wife:
Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
Smell good!
Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or Amicable divorce
Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
Call his family often.
Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
Encourage him to do good deeds.
If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
Learn to make his favorite dish.
Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
Brush your hair, everyday.
Don’t forget to do laundry.
Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it. ** **Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
i absolutely agree with you.. that was very usefull.. The beauty of women is to make her self look perfect in front of her hubby only.. and the woman who died while her husband is satisfied from her completely will go to Jannah...
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
STA: I am with you man! let me know if you need my services for free… wanna assasinate a member or two?
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
*i whould recommend u look ur' mom 'wut she have been doing for you and ur family.
learn from her life experince.....u whould never find any book and any teacher better
then her........(achee biwi buneney k liey pehley achee betie hona zrooree hey)
good luck..
*
Re: Husband and wife relationship in islam
Not all mothers are perfect wives or even role models to look up to, infact nobody is perfect. She’s doing right to look up the right islamic teachings which is the only way she can get the knowledge of the perfect, and strive for that.
Faexa: Here are some books you can read if you can get them to help you 
FORTY SOLUTION TO YOUR MARRIAGE PROBLEMS By Muhammad Salih Al-Mujhaid-Darussalam
Marital Discord Causes & Cures by Majdi Muhammad Ash Shahawi-Darussalam