Mamaof3,
The ethos of the parent/children relationship are quite different between desi communities and the Western society. Unlike the west, parents rarely contribute to their own retirement plans while pursuing their gainful employment years – not because they can’t afford to, but because they’d rather help and support their kids to the maximum extent possible. It is quite common for parents to assume financial responsibility for their kids entire education including University tuition, room and board etc. - student loans are rare, and many families don’t want their kids to work while they’re studying. It only makes sense in such scenarios, that kids support their parents later in life if needed.
That being said, it’s absurd to be helping siblings if they’re fully capable but just lazy. Even parents usually only accept support if it doesn’t come with undue hardship for their kids.
Iksa***,
I don’t think your husband’s lazy – rather the support he’s providing his family shows that he’s a caring person, but perhaps his priorities need to be re-aligned. Also, if he’s asking for your understanding and help in the situation, it shows that he trusts you and truely considers you as a partner in his strife... part and parcel of a marriage. I’m not saying he’s doing the right thing, but just that it isn’t as dreadful as it may seem on the outset. You need to talk to him calmly and tell him that supporting family is good, but not when someone like his brothers are mooching off of him.