Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Sometimes, humans think in very a non thinking manner. And they cause harm to others and themselves, more so. This is often an outcome of hurting people for their vulnerabilities.

People are very unkind and selfish and some do so unknowingly, and worse, some people do to knowingly and un knowingly, both and cause double harm. They do not feel sorry for what they have done, they don’t show that they are sorry as they believe that this grace is not something which can enable them to be appearing and genuinely strong in some way or another.

Why do people exploit others on vulnerabilities?
What do people feel when they hurt someone like this?
Why do they do so?
Do they have their own deeper vulnerabilities which they project onto others, and then end up losing any support because they are so unbelieving in trust and interpersonal honesty?

Shar your thoughts, if you like.

Best,

Dushwari

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

Why do people exploit others on vulnerabilities?

it may be that they are insecure about it themselves.

What do people feel when they hurt someone like this?

Because they dont fear God. And bcoz they dont stop for a second to think that maybe one day, someone could do it to themselves! I firmly beleive in what goes around, comes around, and when it does, it hurts a kazillion times more.

Do they have their own deeper vulnerabilities which they project onto others, and then end up losing any support because they are so unbelieving in trust and interpersonal honesty?

thats exactly right! is someone is a perpetual lier, then they will assume such an attribute in others as well. If they have a habit of speaking where their speech carries double connotations, then they will assume others to be guilty of such as well! A simple examlpe I saw once: this lady PRETENDS to be in good terms with her MIL & SIL, so if someone else genuinely talks with high regard for thier In Laws, she just assumes them to be lying bcoz she does it so often!

All the ills in our ikhlaq are purely due to the fact that we do not follow the teaching of the Quran and Sunnah... so sad! :(

Wassalam

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

i wish this was true, i really don’t belive what goes around comes around anymore. People such as this dont feel bad when they hurt sum1 like this, bcos most often than not theyve dun it plenty of times b4, and frankly have gotten away with it countless times, they have nothing to fear ppl like this get away with everything, and anything they dont get punished by allah at all :teary1:

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

how can you say that with so much certainty tweety pie? one of the attributes of Allah SWT is that He is the most Just. If ppl do plan evil schemes against others, then if not in this temporary life, then definately in the next, they WILL have to answer to their actions! I pray that Allah SWT isn’t just with us when our actions are being wieghed up, rather we ask for His Mercy!

I know if I deliberately cause someone pain, then I may/ may not experience the reprecussions for my sin, however on the DOJ, when we will be standing infront of Allah SWT, then there is no escaping… we will get what we deserve unless Allah SWT forgives us our sins.

And Subhanallah a believing Muslim has everything to gain whether it be happiness of adversity. If I, God forbid, were to backbite about you to one of your close friends, and as a result that friendship breaks and causes you a lot of pain, then remember this: every moment I spend backbiting, you get MY share of hasanat and I take YOUR share of gunnah! If the decreasing accounts of Muslims isn’t enough of a punishment then what else could be?

We shouldn’t make this dunya the greatest of our sorrows, however, a lot of the times this is easier said then done.

Wassalam

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

^^^ I dunno pinks i knw that allah is the most just of all, but in my life ive had allot of stuff happen 2 me, and the ppl who have caused me great pain, continue to lead a life of luuxry, with not a worry in the world, and i knw they have no problems in thier life wht so ever, good for them, but they r constantly out to get me and my family :teary1:, they take advantage of the fact that comparatively we r nicer and more shariff than them and on face value they talk about religion, act so pious etc, e.t.c, it’s sick

They have been jealous, have had teh wrng intentions e.t.c and have continued to be this way for years, they have no reason to change the way they r becos they have always gotten away with it, they r just an example of the countless ppl i knw like this. I knw that if they dont pay 4 it now they will perhaps later on, but i just feel that if they are shown the consequenes of tehir actions in this world they myt just change their ways, otherwise they;ll continue to be the way they r, and therefore continue, to take advantage and hurt ppl :frowning: This is why i dont truly believ wht goes around cums around. IT is 4 this rason i feel so let down by god:( teary1:

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

^ ohhhhh TP.... :( plz plz plz dont be so disheartened!!!!

just remember that the average person lives for 60/70/80/90 years right? if they screw up in this life, then that is what they have chosen to do! theyv'e chosen these few tender years and are loosing the battle for what is in stall for eternity! BELEIVE me when I say that they are doing MORE harm to themselves then they are to you!!!!! remind yourself of that the next time someone delibertely tries to hurt you ok! However, that doesn't mean that i would personally pray for them to suffer in this world or the akhirat, I pray that they are forgiven and change their ways sooner then later.

Remember the ikhlaq of the Prophet SAW! how nice was he to the ppl around him and yet ppl threw rubbish on him, placed spikes in his path, and exiled him for 3 long years! and yet he continued to pay for thier guidance! just because it seemed that the kaafirs were on top of everything, eventually they became the dwellers of hell! and in it they shall live forever if Allah wills. Evil ppl may be in power for a while but that doesn't mean that Allah SWT isn't watching.. sometimes power can be a test, and a lot of ppl fail in that.

I personlly know someone who continues to be nice to a relative yet her relative is hell-bent is making her life miserably... call it jealousy or something else.

Finally, we should be REALLY careful in making assumptions about Allah SWT! this is a dangerous practise... plz dont assume that He will not hold these ppl accountable one day.

And count your blessings, with an honest heart... if you dwell too long on the things that aren't right in your life, then it makes it easier for the Shaitan to come to us and whisper stuff in our hearts. Subhanallah you are a Muslim, and paradise is promised to those who believe in Allah SWT and the last Prophet SAW. Isn't that a blessing! u obviously have a computer, and you have eyes that can read and fingers that are perfect enough to type, isn't that a blessing?

Plz my sister, DO NOT loose faith in Allah SWT... mayoosi is kufr and the shaitan rejoices at this.

Remember that you are living for the akhirat, this world is only a temporary stay.

I pray that Allah SWT eases whatever inflication you are going through, to guide those who hurt you, and to make yours and my Iman strong, Amin.

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

^^
exactly, know that you are honest and that is the biggest thing of relief after all the disappointment that somebody just lumps on you even though, you may be still kind and nice to people who do so, but you cant force true honesty on someone. it has to come on its own in people.
iman jata heye jeb insan mayoos hota heye.
mager, koshish karein keye apna aap saaf dil rakhein.

akser jo real meye setcheye log hein, wohh apneye dukh muskan keye peecheye chupateye hein.
leikin jo itminan aik pur umeedee meye heye, iss liyeye, keye khood meye bura-pun nahi a sekta, kisi keye bureye amal kee wejha seye.
ho sekta heye dhoka huva ho, iss ko bhee.
aur iss ko ubb khiyal a giya ho, aur iss terhan log apneye aap ko redeem ker sekteye hein lekin kebhee bhee Allah swt sey la-ummed nahi hona. iss hesti keye elaawa aur iss keye baad understanding waleidein, grand parents, siblings or aik well wishing teacher, supervisor, aur dost keye ellawa, koe bhee sincere nahi hota. kish kismet hein aiseye log seb, jenhein apneye aap per confidence hota heye aur inn kee neik niyitee kee bedolaet inn ko apna ajr milta heye.

best,
Dushwari

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

Thanks pinks and dushwari, i dunno i knw i have to change the way i feel, I just needed a reminder, thnks again :)

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Re: Hurting people you begin bonding with, for their Vulnerabilities

you're welcome, tp.
best,
Dushwari