Re: Hurt by SIL’s opinion of me 
Yeah I get what you’re saying. But my point is…she could tattle-tale to her brother and parents about the meethi churi comments and passive aggressive behavior…which could turn MIL/FIL/husband against Humper. At that point if Humper were to explain that I was being cold cuz I read SIL’s conversation…THAT could be used against her (the whole nosy accusation). Blood relations are tricky…you never know how people will respond.
Whereas I think if Humper forces herself to continue to be nice to her SIL…and then at a convenient time…approach the SIL and calmly tell her what she read…that would induce more embarrassment and guilt…even more so if she continues to act like the bigger person despite the SIL’s behavior. I think it’s important for her to tell the SIL that a guy who talks crap about her family to her…won’t respect her either. She’s young…I think that it’s a good life-lesson to bring up with her. She may not agree with the OP…but later on…I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds that “bhabi” was right…that guy is a jerk and I need to be more mindful what I say about people. She can “teach” her SIL in a way that way is gentle…or in a way that is harsher and will make the SIL begrudge her. Acting like a meethi churi will make Humper no better than the SIL or that guy. If anything…the meethi churi comments might even make the SIL angry as opposed to getting her to reflect over her mistake. May result in a battle of meethi churi comments…where the MIL may get involved.