In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear’s hairdryer:
…Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on
my hair.)On a bag of Fritos:
…You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(And that would be how???..)On some Swanson frozen dinners:
“Serving suggestion: Defrost! .”
(But, it’s just a suggestion.)On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
“Do not turn upside down.”
(Well…duh - a bit late, huh!)On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”
(…And you thought???..)On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
(But wouldn’t this save me more time?)On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this
medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)On Nytol Sleep Aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(And…I’m taking this because???..)On most brands of Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(As opposed to…what?)On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”
(I gotta admit, im curious…)On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: contains nuts.”
(Talk about a news flash.)On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)On a child’s superman costume:
“Wearin! g of this garment does not enable you to
fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents
for this one.)On a Swedish chainsaw:
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.”
(Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?)Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your
turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile
to (maybe even a
chuckle)…in other words send it to everyone. We
all need to smile every once
in a while