There was a time when my friend’s cousin (Rehman) was taking us (me and my friend’s family) somewhere in his car. We all came down as Rehman was awaiting us with his car. Upon seeing my freind’s mom, he started laughing said in rather mean way “Aunty mein aap koh aur aapki beiti koh kal baazar pey dekha tah…Hairat ki baat aap ki beitei ap key saath thi phir bhi iskey saar pey dupatta naheen tah…mein bhi sochney laga…key wakay bohot modern hogain mere Aunty log” he gave a lil more laugh and went into the car…but my friend, her mom and her bro…their faces were totally expressionless…ek dam sakht! The worst part is, Rehman himself is a flirt, dates girls (and dating girls is not merely just going out with a girl and talking to her..its more then that) the worst sin…and on all accounts how could he have made such a remark…key tum modern ho gaye ho…how could my friend’s family let him make such a remark. While they knew all along that this guy goes out with girls.
Our culture…I’ve often noticed that its “ok” when guys go out at nights and never return my midnight or until the next day or two, the same goes for talking to girls. He talks to a girl and he its “ok” he’s a man. But if I talk to a guy I’m being shameless and a disgrace to my family…have u noticed its “ok” for guys to go have a co-ed education but not for girls.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this argument is one-sided only. But ugh! this unfairness…why is it there?
Yes, I would say the double-standard exists, and its highly unfair.
I would totally have embarrassed him by saying "kyu ji, were you not modern when I saw you the other day with so and so , holding hands and kissing?"
yep u shud have made ^ remark or something like that.. n yes double standards does exist ..sad .. n funny thing is it's "ok" for guyz to go out or date... but now "ok" for their sisters or daughters to do the same. what goes around comes around as well..
I kno double standards exist.. speacially with desi communities or in pakistan.. but isnt it the same with sum gurls..?! i’ve seen gurls dumpin guys just cos he is ‘Kaala’ or ‘Chota’ or ‘Gunja’ .. 
.. n they dont even seem to realize how their own brother/s looks like? m not tryin to degrade n e one.. but m just sayin kay when they r out huntin for their own ‘Bhabhis’ .. they’ll look for ‘Haseen o Jameel’ or ‘Nazuk si’ larkee… isnt this a double standard too?!!
P.S: I wonder y ‘Modern Hona’ is taken such a wrong way?!?! wuts wrong about it?!?!
He's a loser to have mentioned that. It was a cheap shot that proved his narrow mentality.
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*Originally posted by ~Sehar~: *
He's a loser to have mentioned that. It was a cheap shot that proved his narrow mentality.
[/QUOTE]
exactly!
These double standards have always been in place.
i've given up wondering why and getting angry over them.
Next time round - I wanna come back as a man!!
I think that guy had the guts to say that because no woman has told him to look at his own harkatein first.....'auntie jee' should have quipped, 'bilkul sahee kaha aapneh...aur sunao...kaunsi larki pitta rahay hau aajkal?' :P
I notice not a single guy has replied....chickens they all be. My view on things, it is how our society works. For a guy its ok. I got no problems with it. So i honestly dont care. You ladies think it is unfair change it. That is of course if you want to date guys. But i believe that is not the case. You will discuss how it is unfair but you yourself will not date pakistani guys. What i believe is you want the personal freedom to have the choice even if you arent going to take it. Now isnt that a waste? If you want to date go ahead and do so. To hell with society. If you dont, well you can always complain.
Flame away ladies.
Dating and this guy's comment are two different things.
For each guy dating out there....theres a girl dating as well...right? Same goes for co-ed....so what are you ladies on about?
As for his comment, as sehar said, it was cheap shot.
Of course double-standards exist. Its kinda like the 9-11 thing, tragic and all but how are American lives better than lives from other countries(I won’t name any past, non-American tragedies). Its mainly 'cause America is big enough to make these double-standards and so are many males in many societies. I hate any member of any part of humanity that thinks they have supremacy over humans. 
If it were up to me then every body would smoke some weed or there fav drug and mellow out. 
Rehman has been unfair. No question about that. But some unfairness, if you call it so, has been made a law by the nature itself. A girl should ask herself will she like to go out and spend her whole night outside her home?
exactly.........many times iv heard things like,its ok for him coz hes a boy, i mean wht da hell,i swear if i was there i would av slapped im around da face n not even talk to him, i mean hes "simply" not worth it.
There are so many things in our culture that are beyond me
but you should have diss him out as other guppies have mentioned :). Low lives *sigh
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*Originally posted by nia_khan: *
There are so many things in our culture that are beyond me
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.. still the culture is holding together our family system.. respect for elders!
west lost it due to this race of equality mania...
what has all this got to do with societal standards of acceptable behavior for boys and girls?? No boy is allowed to say such crap to ladies he knows or doesn’t know.
The dude is obviously a jerk. If his parents aren’t teaching him any manners or how to talk to others, it’s no one’s fault but your friend’s her mom’s and her bro’s to let him get away with such bakwaas..
a punch in the face usually sets matters right… if needed it can be followed up with a hole in the leg from a semi automatic 
PA
man I agree with you on this one, an individuals lack of manners and his parents failure to provide a decent upbringing should not be looked upon as a societal ill. People like this should be slapped around a bit, preferrably in front of their girlfriends.