If a guy is telling you he wants to marry you, pretty much firmly decides after families talk although no official baat pakki yet between families, and then admits to you later that after a week later after meeting you that he met with another girl and her family…
How would you react....
Pathetic! :(
Re: How would you react....
No baat pakki means no baat pakki! Not that even baat pakki at all times is truly that but you know how this world works. Everyone is either under pressure, seeking better options or just....plain dishonest. The best bet is to not take anything that seriously unless you have signed the nikkah nama :).
No baat pakki...understandable. I'd feel bad...but it's not his fault. At least he was honest.
Re: How would you react....
Plus he said he wants to marry you...didnt say he will. There is a huge diff b/w the two.
As for my reaction, it would depend on the reason of what happened and how. However, one thing for sure...i aint gonna block myself for him either!
Re: How would you react....
So until baat pakki, it's all fair game? Or until nikkah? Or until an engagement ring? At what point is it not cool to for a guy's mom to still be talking to rishta aunties?
How would you react....
Once the "baat pakki" takes place, meaning both families have verbally accepted the rishta and are now beginning to sort out the logistics of either an engagement party or straight to shaadi preps, that should mean it's a done deal and neither party needs to be entertaining other potential matches.
Re: How would you react....
yup..unless they, as a family, have given you their approval...the deal's not sealed :p.
Re: How would you react....
Its GUYs fault and unfair to blame guy's mom. Once he has committed, he should put his foot down but he has not committed and this is something that girl assumed then there is nothing much to say.
Re: How would you react....
Until you sign nikah-nama it's fair to change your mind. Much better than changing after nikkah.
Re: How would you react....
Personally, I think when both families were meeting there was no need for the guy's family to look for another rishta.
Normally a family considers 2 or 3 options and then decide to initiate rishta process at one place at a time. If they don't get positive response there then they move to next option and so on. But given the situation nowadays (e.g. the girl's family taking longer than usual to accept the rishta), it is understandable that they may have wanted to contact multiple families at a time. Should this be considered offensive and rude? Not necessarily!
The way its done in our family is pretty simple, once the guy's family asks for rishta and the girl's family accepts it in a joint sitting with or without exchange of rings, its baat-pakki. Deal done, if anyone of them now looks for or entertains another rishta it means they are backing off and it is considered highly offensive.
Re: How would you react....
PCG the situation I wrote about once before about my BFF getting attached to a douchebag who stringed her along for two years (through arranged rishta). So he was still "getting to know her" and "still deciding if she was the one". So they were in constant communication more or less. During one of their argument phases where there was lesser communication, he was apparently still going to arranged rishtas meeting girls (multiple girls and over a few months period). He was apparently "getting to know" that girl too and my friend only found out when he called to tell her that he was getting married!!! And if they could just be friends!!!! And my friend all along was just thinking that it's a rough patch and that she'll be getting married to him. He took the coward way out and put the blame on his parents (although they had clearly stated during one of the meetings that they just want him to finally get married and whoever he says yes to is fine with them and they are just not going to really be in any of the big decision making). Like they said , k beta aap logo nay decide karna hae to aap aik doosray say he baat kar lain, they didn't even ask any questions, only the guy did the talking and asked my friend directly.
So yes it's not just the mils, sometimes the guys also want to know what's out there and if they can do better. But if he hasnt in clear words committed to u (even without baat pakki) then u can't really hold him for it. And ofcourse if baat pakki has occurred (not necessarily any rasam but even just on the phone parents accepting rishta) then he shouldn't be seeing any more girls. If he only said that he likes u (and u didn't acknowledge it) then I think it's ok if he still looks around. But if both of u acknowledged it that u want to go ahead then it would be stupid on his part to still be going to chai parades.
Re: How would you react....
He wants to marry you now...how long have you been seeing him?
If he met another girl only a WEEK after meeting you...I'd say there's nothing to be upset about or even concerned.
A week is nothing.
Re: How would you react....
So until baat pakki, it's all fair game? Or until nikkah? Or until an engagement ring? At what point is it not cool to for a guy's mom to still be talking to rishta aunties?
Until one rishta is fully dealt with - i.e. baat pakki ho jati hai, rishta aunties should not be involved. Once a decision is made on that rishta - a yay or nay - depending on the outcome, ristha aunties can make their move
Re: How would you react....
If a guy is telling you he wants to marry you, pretty much firmly decides after families talk although no official baat pakki yet between families, and then admits to you later that after a week later after meeting you that he met with another girl and her family...
If girls ensure that they dont let their clothes fall, men wont do that mostly. I think even if man was serious, but fornication causes the level of interest to fall. Nothing left to explore after all.
Re: How would you react....
At what point is it not cool to for a guy's mom to still be talking to rishta aunties?
Once baat pakki happens, that's when the guy's mom needs to stop talking to rishta aunties. Families talking and the guy saying that he has made up his mind that he wants to marry you is great...but all this is useless until a formal commitment is made from BOTH sides to start planning the wedding (ie. baat pakki/engagement...whatever the family wants to call it).