Topic inspired by Miss Mohabbat. I dont want that thread to be diverted because this is a topic that deserves its own discussion.
From my own experience my mother and father factored in a lot. But given that my father was the only male influence in my life for a long time, I felt that he contributed a lot to what I am now. I don’t go around giving it to any boy that comes along because I’ve seen how much respect he has for my mother who is faithful - I’d like to live up to how my mother has been. And I think my father would be sorely disappointed in me if I have done anything indecent. Not to say that i haven’t or that i have, but I think if I lost my virginity or something like that, or if I was spending too much time flirting with guys or whatever, he would think I have low self-respect.
And I want a partner who has some of the qualities my father has, so I see what type of a woman he respects, and that’s helped me TRY to shape myself into that ideal.
no girly, you'v missed the point. If your going to start a thread regarding the same issue, it has to have a similar message as your first one did. You pay so much interest/attention into the rasing of boys and how they are all bad, but you have yet to mention in this thread all the naughty things some girls do...cant u bring yourself to mention them? You were so quick to judge the way boys are raised, you must apply yourself in this thread too. I want to know why you think naughty girls become naughty? who is to blame?
the issue is SO important that I started a thread of it on its own. Now if you can't discuss without turning debatable issues into fights, then go to the gym and relieve yourself of your stress. Don't take it out here.
I opened a thread so that this topic can be discussed in parallel. The point is not to compare boys against girls and say that girls are angels and boys are not. In fact, your bias against me causes you to bring that into the discussion as a factor when it is not. And unless you can show me a line in the discussion where I've clearly said that raising of boys is full of bugs, but the raising of girls in our society is not, then shut your trap.
I'm saying it nicely, because your recent behavior of jumping at people's opinions and arguments is not appreciated.
I agree with M_M. A few years back I took sailing lessons and there were four to a boat plus the instructor. In our boat we had one girl and she openly wanted to do us all. She was recently married and so were we. We ended up getting the girl kicked out of our boat, we were learning to sail for galas and she was disruptive to us.
I am sure she came from a good family. I can go on and take you girls back to my college years back in mid 80s (some of you were not even born), and the things girls wanted us to do were, un-imaginable. Mind you I am tlaking sorority girls (delta theta beta).
i think you need to hit the gym love, did you even read past “girly”? I think not. You know what, im gona leave you be, i guess it was me being niave into thinking you could conversate in an adult manner.
“Girly” is an expression, you didnt need to take it to heart love, i think at 21 your too old for to start crying in your pillow.
Im not here to be appreciated, and nor do i need any sort of appreciation for my opinion. oooh did you read that? an opinion! go google it love.
and as for you being nice to me…WOW i love American’s who are nice, although, try harder…telling someone to “shut your trap” is not what i call nice.
PCG as I mentioned I think before, no matter how you bring up boys and girls they will do things that will defy you. I mean imagine a father checking out girls gone wild video and to his amazement he sees his very own daughter that he thought so highly off.
ages 15-21 kids are crazy their harmones are jumping out of their skins they will do crazy things. You can only guide them and hope for the best, but you never know what goes throught thier mind.
For every effect there is a cause. For every event there is a cause. A girl's immoral behavior can be traced back to someplace. Personally, I think for girls, a lot of their behavior comes from television and movie influences ... like a valued girl in society is the one with the right body curves even if it requires implants, its the girl who can kiss good and love good...
its similar in our culture - except simmered down a bit - instead of the rishtay walay coming and asking for a daughter who has big boobs, they ask for the "pretty one". Same thing, really.
So girls try to live up to society's image of what an awesome girl should be like - and that's the one that is willing to do crazy things for her man. You see this message all the time in movies, and music (Gawwd, especially rap music).
As to where parents factor in - I think the problem sometimes is that they DONT factor in - they usually are not aware that their daughter is facing these expectations from society.
For example, bollywood movies are number one when it comes to influencing a girl's thought process and self-respect. If an impressionable young girl sees aish and karishma and kareena and all these other ladies dressed in skimpy dresses and having successful love marriages in the movies - they want to imitate that. Go to any desi party - they're all dying to look like Kareena Kapoor in that recent shah rukh khan flick.
I agree with you. Forget young honnie, older mature women in their 30s are no saints either. And by no means do I exclude Pakistani muslimahs from this statement -- they are so much fun too. :-D
LuxuryItem I know about the 30 yr olds as well, I mean this goes on all over the world. I just dont know why people treat sex as a taboo.
Never was blessed with a 30yr old muslimah .....Oh I take that back too. You are so right.
exibit A: Luxury Item's search for Arab Girls Gone Wild.
Its like picking between red meat and white meat. Again, it is because of MEN and their expectations that poor girls use their bodies and not their minds to advance themselves.
PCG are you kidding me, Listen girls strip and lap dance and put themselves through college, nothing wrong with that. OK, It's not about men and their expectations, ask a stripper she would nt give two sh1ts about men, its about money to them.
Same with prostitution, oldest profession BTW.
Once again as I mentioned but let me rephrase it for you. You can teach your kids to be nice and spend fortunes but all humans are unique and individuals.
Have you seen JackA$$ the movie; I fretted when I saw that movie, what my kids would do when they grow up. You can only teach them to be good and hope for the best. BTW there is an excellent article in NY times about a kid that went on meth (some drug I think) and his family. That should tell you about the raising the kids and what happens when your plans go awry.
I grew up with bolly movies, dindnt do anything to my self respect, i just saw it as pure entertainment, but then that has been a while now. All us lot used to look forward to were the latest Amitabh and Zeenat movies and wowing at their beauty. Of course we wanted to look like her but we never went to those extremes. Maybe there are too many bimbos around these days.