It’s really driving me crazy now. My kids are soooo not good at time management. I find myself constantly telling them to hurry up. Our day starts at 5:30 n ends around 8:30-9:00 for kids. They just get distracted so easily n won’t pay attention to what they should be doing. Eldest is 11 years old and he is the most problematic in that sense. Then comes Mr 8 years old who is not that bad but does get distracted if I’m not after him to finish his job. Then is Miss 6 years old who takes forever at the dining table…she only eats a single slice of bread with a glass of milk in breakfast but takes 20-25 minutes for that. So far my only hope is the youngest who is 2 years old.
If I don’t yell we get late for school…n i feel sooo bad yelling specially early morning.
And now the major problem is that their performance in school is also not great lately as nothing gets completed in time. My eldest is MashaAllah veryyy inteligent…his teachers admit that sometimes even they don’t know that much about a topic as much he does. He is nicknamed GPS n smartcard by his classmates. BUT when it comes to written work he wouldn’t really put an effort.
I’ve tried stop watches and everything…it does get better for a while but as soon as i leave them to manage themselves, they just don’t bother. argggghhhhhh!!!
What should I do???
ah thats how kids are, I would not worry that much. Thats how it usually is.
I too have to struggle with my 4 year old, she needs yelling too before we get ready for KG and what is more worse, getting back home, we need 30 -40 minutes for a 10 minute walk, she walks slower as a snail but on her bike she is fast as a rabbit.
I am struggling with this too.
She has no concept of time.
I've tried egg-timers, using television shows to get her to understand how much 30 mins is etc.
How about putting a set schedule including timings for each child on the fridge. For the older ones - you can give them a bit of flexibility so they are more repsonsible but for the younger ones structure out their day. (esp mornings and evenings).
I give 30 minutes for meals because my girls are slow eaters.
The rewards don't have to be anything major. Things like, family game, family outing to the park...etc. It's better to have personalised rewards too, like one of them is really into painting, his/her reward could be a new paint set.
Why does the kids days start at 05.30? Seems so early for the little ones, they need more sleep perhaps?
I have found they work better with one or two targets first, always start small and build up until they are familiar with the routine. For example, one week of breakfast and school uniform on within 20 mins gets a sicker...5 stickers at the end of the week = family movie/game/outing time. And then add another task (addional time too) for the next week.
let your children organise their own timetables..have them pasted on the fridge.. dont push them to do stuff.. let them include their own favorite activities. if they are encouraged that way, then they would start managing things on time gradually.
reward them for completing homework on time. my mum did that for me to get regular in namaz :)
i made my own timetable, with minimal mediation from my mother. if the child is given big responsibilities, they like the idea alot.
it is a SLOW process but they learn eventually IMO :)
Muzna...when i saw your name in replies i got all excited hoping to see a 'solution' in your reply...hehe...i really didn't expect that reply from you. Somehow your impression on me s 'you know it all' :)
njgal...i've tried that...30 minutes start and end but the meal doesn't. When they were younger, i had a reward chart on our fridge doing stickers n stars etc. for every time they were good incl. time management. it has lost its appeal though...these days the only 'threat' that works is if you get late i won't take you to karate class. ...but i know i can't overuse it.
really running out of ideas.....:-(
If you have already tried sticker charts and are now using 'negative reinforcement' in terms of taking things away, you need to follow through with what you say.
My aunty does the same, if her children who not complete homework or tidy room or whatever it is she has asked them to, she threatens them with 'No art/brownines/violin club/lesson' and then she actually follows through with it. They miss their art clubs or violin lessons.
Milly…I’ve already done that for boys…might start tht for my daughter again. My boys consider ththose reward charts ‘babyish’ now I do try to accomodate enough sleeping time for them but then again their pace of work makes me go nuts. If they don’t start off at 5:30…we can’t leave the place at 7:10 which we must…to reach school in time.
Enigmatica…thanks…I like the idea of letting them set their own timetable…let’s see how it goes.
If you have already tried sticker charts and are now using 'negative reinforcement' in terms of taking things away, you need to follow through with what you say.
My aunty does the same, if her children who not complete homework or tidy room or whatever it is she has asked them to, she threatens them with 'No art/brownines/violin club/lesson' and then she actually follows through with it. They miss their art clubs or violin lessons.
I agree.....being consistent is so important for disciplining. In fact I made them miss their karate lesson for that...but I can't keep using this threat over and over. there has to be some positive way...
negative reinforcement wears off with time !! it's like the children get immune to it or start looking for other alternatives.
positive reinforcement is the slow yet the most rewarding. :)
Yes, I agree. However, parenting doesn't come with a manual, I feel it's better to try various stratergies as each one has its own learning curve for the adult and the child(ren) involved.
I am sure your eldest would be able to create his own sticker chart, even on the PC using Publisher or Word.
Get them involved as much as you can. Ownership and all.
When my aunts middle daughter would not eat breakfast within her given time frame, my aunt took her breakfast to school and asked the teacher if she could have it there. Her daughter now eats her breakfast on time.
Oh Afia.....your impression is flattering but very far from the truth.
There are many things that I am at a total loss for.
The biggest headache I have is time management.
I've tried the sticker chore chart. I've tried taking privileges away. I've even tried yelling at her (and I hate it). Nothing seems to have long term impact. It works for the first couple of times but that's it.
She is seven years old. Shouldn't she have a sense of urgency on her own?
Maybe I am expecting too much from her......
From someone who has to teach 30 children how to recognise half past and o'clock by the time they are 6....I want to pull my hair out sometimes!
Ask your child(ren) to close their eyes and open them when they think one minute is over. I do this before I teach Time to my pupils, results are very interesting. A good 10 of them opened their eyes after 3 seconds and some kept them closed for about 5 minutes!
I do try to accomodate enough sleeping time for them but then again their pace of work makes me go nuts. If they don’t start off at 5:30…we can’t leave the place at 7:10 which we must…to reach school in time.