well guys i have a friend.. in trouble these days (kaha tha mein nay na kar ishq wishq lekin nahi mana) khair.. now he really likes the girl.. the girl really likes him (so no problemo there.. phew!) now the problem is that he wants to tell his mom about her before anything happens.. he wants it to be as “legal” (according to desi rules) as possible.. simply.. he doesn’t want his parents to find out from someone else..
so now he needs a way to do it.. any suggestions..?? i have written down thousands of case by case solutions to him but he doesn’ t like any1 of them
khair.. guppies.. meray iss dost ka kuch karo.. warna mein nay iss ki amma ko khud hi bata dena hai..
help the poor kid … or atleast get me out of this situation.. shukria…
Aaj kal kay nawjawaan, hugg kay dhona nahiN aata, chalay hain ishq farmanay. Agar ishq karney ka itna shauq hai to tell him to grow a pair and tell his parents and not be such a phattoo.
U should ask ur friend 2 introduce da girl 2 his mom. Make it brief & formal. Let the mom do da deciding. He should ask his mom permission 2 bring da girl over for dinner or lunch or a cup of tea, which ever is possible. Moms are very understanding. Trust me. They dont think negatively, they r just a lil more careful when it comes 2 life making decisions. They can also judge a character, but it takes a lil more effort & time.
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*Originally posted by Ansoon: *
he works and studies... currently in university finishing up his degree.. and doing job .. which is related to his field (i think) so yeah...
thanks for the advice mal1k
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He's self dependant - thats a good sign. It will help his cause.
:DMy advice is if he met this girl through internet then please tell him not to tell his parents about it. Parents are too stereotypical about online chatting. Also, tell him to really make his parents believe that he’s serious about marrying her…don’t be saying things like ‘main nahi reh sakta uske bagher’, ‘main mar jaoonga uske bagher’, avoid this teenage type bull crap. :nono:
CA - I wish u had given this advice 2 me in October… I have a long way 2 go & a difficult war 2 fight myself, but I’ve almost made it. I’m just warding all da evil off.
- on ur desi comments…I think they have no monetary value but 2 true lovers they might mean a lot.
thanks guppies.. yeah i have been telling him to be mature about this.. and don't try to rush stuff.. tell ur parents everything and try to be respectful... after all she is going to live with u and ur parents!.. so yeah mein uss ki khopari mein kuch dalta hoon ja kar.. thanks for the advice!
if he got a sibling..he can tell them..and they can tell the parents..or make ways for him to talk..if he's closer the father..he can tell the father..and the father can tell the mother. Sometimes i have seen that people take forever aur larki ki kaheen aur tay hojati hay baat..so tell him to let the parents know.
i think he should be straight forward and tell his parents.. tell his mum first.. they always good with backing u up later.. cus they feel superiour of being notified before the male figure in the house.. experience.. i know..
its not that hard once u start talking.. its the 1 minute beforehand when ur tummy is in knots and ur sweating like theres no tomorrow..
tell him to say a dua... seeks Allah Mian's help... get his mama when shes alone.. and then tell her... u dont need to wait for a special moment.. and i dont think its good to bring the girl in the house and then tell them... first let ur mum in on it... then ask her if she'd like to meet her... its better this way :)
one of my friends introduced his sister to his girlfriend, who was his co-worker… the two are now friends and visit each other’s homes frequently. now that his mother knows the girl, he plans to tell her that she’s the one he wants to marry.
my sister told me this other amusing story… the girl’s parents had given an ad in a newspaper… the guy cleverly managed to get his parents to answer the ad. thus it was an “arranged marriage” to the satisfaction of the parents, and the couple got their way :k:
haha! quite a serious problem here!
my first reaction was like aahmed's, but seriously if the guy's mom's not a horrible beast or a which, i don't see a problem..why's he so scared of his mom? it's his mom for god's sake! and it's not like he's an 'awara pagal badmaash' kind of a guy! he's studying, working everythings fine. so tell him Ansson, to just get a grip and tell his mother like a man!
i told him to "be a man" and tell his mom everything with confidence. Told him not to tell her that he has already selected a baho for her, but rather tell her that you want her to talk to girls parents for his rishta.. that way she will feel more involved rather then just being dump with a baho..
so he tried it.. and the result:
his mom told him that she will talk for his rishta. the end end result.. they have decided on Nikha only since the girls parents and his parents wants him to finish his studies first and then they will follow up on the final details.. :)
whatever the result.. u should see the happiness on his face! (mashaAllah) he is more energetic now and i hope that Allah(swt) keeps him like this forever!
Wow Ansoon! thats such great news!! :D
congratulate him from us. i can understand how happy he would be. see our advice worked! being a man helped didnt it!? ;)
I have a long way 2 go & a difficult war 2 fight myself, but I’ve almost made it. I’m just warding all da evil off.
- on ur desi comments…I think they have no monetary value but 2 true lovers they might mean a lot.