Since most people agree breast milk is best for the baby, what kinds of practices help support a mother to encourage breastfeeding? What practices should be avoided?
Please share what did or what would have helped you.
I’ll start:
Encourage and be comfortable with nursing in public. A breastfeeding mom should at the very least be able to pull out her nursing cover and feed her child, no matter the setting or company. That way she isn’t hindered by her choice to breastfeed. Having to be at home all the time, or even in a single room all the time, to nurse can be very isolating.
Avoid comments about how chubby or skinny the baby is. This can unnecessarily create complexes that will cause anxiety. Babies grow at their own rates and people shouldn’t assume there is an issue with growth unless there actually is one based on actual recorded measurements. Babies lose weight in the beginning, some remain thinner in their newborn days, and many remain slender and healthy. If mothers are constantly hearing that their baby isn’t measuring up, they will be more concerned and will lose faith in their own ability to nourish the child.
Avoid insisting on bottle feeding unless the parents request the help. Many friends/relatives want to be involved in feeding the baby, but unless the parents need that support, it’s best to let the mother establish her supply and the baby’s nursing skills.
Pumping can make some women obsessive about their own production amounts (especially since pumps are probably not as efficient as baby), and again they begin to doubt their own ability to feed the child. Avoid pumping unless needed.
If you’re a close friend/relative, and want to help, help the mom rest in between feeds by taking care of other chores, errands, etc. Offer to take the baby for a bit too.
Encourage desi designers to create more nursing-friendly outfits.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
This is for relatives… Please, don’t tell the new mom “you are not getting milk”, " you are not making enough milk", etc. Comments like above are very depressing and discouraging.
If you hear your mom or mil making such comments, please stop them.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
I think in the previous generation, some populations of women were discouraged from breastfeeding or were taught that breast milk was never sufficient for a growing baby. I have definitely seen these beliefs being expressed to this new generation of mothers, and that can create a lot of confusion/doubt.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
^it hurts.. A lot! BUT there is support available.. Seek the help of lactation consultants, they are god send! And ask for triple nipple cream if your nipples are cracked and sore!
First time around, after bringing baby home, the next day I called hospital nurse and dried a lot telling her I couldn’t do it.. Seriously I was so disparate that I was going to pay someone to come to my house on Sunday to tell me how to bf my baby. Then I got a call from the hospital lactation consultant who told me to come in on Sunday to see her.. Yep she came just to see me.. Helped me a lot! I think my fault was pumping too much too early.. I ended up with an infection later and learned my lesson.
Second time around I didn’t touch the pump for first 4 weeks.. Then pumped once a week to have some extra for emergency. I still don’t pump more than twice a week and sometimes not at all.
And may I second S02’s advice about nursing outfits.. Buy a few.. I was so bummed initially and felt horrible switching between three tops for 2 months.. I bought 10 more nursing tops..it feels good and I have no problem nursing anywhere. I use nursing cover in public but let’s say I have nursed everywhere from park to train station to restaurant to someone’s house, with modesty.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Totally agree with all the points mentioned above.
Been subjected to a lot of unsolicited advise on the matter. I’ve given up explaining my point of view. I just nod and ignore. I know what’s best for my kid and that is breast milk. I don’t care that it’s taken over my life. Or that I am disturbed multiple times at night. My Jaan deserves the best
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
#2 can’t be controlled. People will say things without thinking all the time and it’s usually family. Can be hurtful, but you have to push yourself to ignore it and not let it get in the way of what you feel is best for your baby or the doctor-approved routine you already have.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Sure it can’t be controlled, but we can raise awareness so that people think before they speak. Those first few days after birth are hormone-crazed days of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. It’s not easy to just ignore and move forward, especially when it’s your first time.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
This! I heard a lot during the 1st two weeks as the baby lost some weight and wasn’t gaining. I just wanted to be left alone. On top of that my mother was adamant that I should eat very low carb food. Again, it is easy to say ignore, etc, however very difficult when you are going through it.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Don’t listen to aunties who tell you that the reason the baby isn’t sleeping through the night is because he/she is hungry. These are the aunties that claim a bottle of formula before bedtime will make them sleep longer. Breast milk digests faster, so babies who are breast fed may wake more frequently, however, don’t be fooled into thinking the baby is starving or still hungry. Since WHEN do newborns or even 3-4 month olds sleep through the night? If you have a baby that does, consider yourself VERY LUCKY. Mine is 19 months and still wakes several times and it’s NOT because she is hungry.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Yes - a nursing pillow is a must! I used the one by JJ Cole. I find it has better “height” than other nursing pillows so it gets baby closer and it is less hunching for mommy.
I think support begins when a woman is pregnant. I heard from many women about how incredibly difficult breastfeeding is to the point that I was fully prepared to supplement right from the beginning. Surprisingly for me, breastfeeding was probably the least challenging aspect as a parent. It did not hurt at all. The hospital lactation consultant told me it only hurts if the latch is wrong which is actually very common. But if done correctly, breastfeeding should not and does not hurt. You will definitely be a little sore though during the first couple of weeks. It’s important to inform first time moms that breastfeeding is challenging but at the same time not make it so daunting that one is actually discouraged from giving it her full shot.
Also, I personally found breastfeeding to be very convenient since you don’t have to worry about clean bottles and sterilized water. It’s also very convenient if you’re traveling. And if the baby is fussy, nursing often helps the baby calm down. So maybe it would be nice to emphasize the convenience factor.
I also don’t think kids sleep longer at night with formula. Older babies often wake up coz of a switch in their sleep cycles not because they are hungry. They don’t know how to soothe themselves back to sleep so a formula fed infant is just as likely to wake up as a breastfed infant.
And finally at the end of the day, take a relaxed approach to breastfeeding. Be prepared to encounter some difficulties and don’t make it a do or die situation. Staying calm helps a lot. Try your best and if it doesn’t work out, give a bottle of formula. Baby will thrive either way.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
What is DESPERATELY required in Pakistan is for friends or family to gather around and make sure baby is accessible for mother immediately, and esp for FTMs some elder mother who has been doing BF before should regulate the first few days, ensuring the baby latches and then literally holding baby to boob at timed intervals when needed.
TEACHING how to bf and then monitoring it will go a super long way. I had so many issues with it and the elders were USELESS not telling me how or when to do it and discouraging it in their lack of enthusiasm which leads to less supply and eventually you and baby give up.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
I got them from Macy’s and jl Penney.. Ok here is a thing, I don’t have time to go to store and I also get overwhelm at stores like Macy’s because if huge collection so I ordered a few online in different sizes ( free shipping at $99) thinking I may keep just one or two and return the rest.. I got 7 from Macy’s and returned only 2 at the store.
These are not specifically nursing tops but they work.. One of the dresses I ordered and kept is this NY Collection Dress, Cap-Sleeve Belted A-Line - Dresses - Women - Macy’s I wear a cardigan on top and cover the front with scarf …I put on the nursing cover when it’s time to feed her.. Super convenient due to neck line and stretchy material.
And let’s say the fitting is good too..I was very upset about my body ( two kids take a toll on you) and wearing the same three maternity shirts in black was seriously hurting my self esteem ..i didnt even think about buyingnny clothes thinking i was in between suzes and shouldnt spend money but you know this shape of body is here attests until I am breast feeding so I might as well spend some on clothing than on psychiatrist if I went depressed looking at myself
I was “encouraged” and “supported” by S02 to buy nursing tops when I told her how terrible I was feeling about not being able to lose weight.. Best advice ever.. See even online support works.. I m a happy mamma now.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Honestly, this is really true. Don’t assume it’s not going to work. Give your body and the baby a chance to figure things out and make it work. Keep trying. If the newborn isn’t latching, offer the breast every 30 minutes or every hour. Don’t supplement unless the baby’s growth is actually a concern. For many women, just believing that it can work and ignoring everything else, really helps.
Exclusively BFing if you’re not tied down by a work schedule or some other thing that forces you to be away from your baby makes things really easy, especially when you want to be out and about.
Re: How to support/encourage breastfeeding mothers?
Also, though it may seem to contradict number 1, in the early days mom and baby should have some space and quiet when trying to nurse/latch, at least until they both have it figured out. This advice was from my desi OB who knew what a desi household can be like when there are lots of visitors.
