He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”
He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” - He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”
He is not “BALDING” - He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”
He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” - He prefers “GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”
He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” - He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”
He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case of “RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”
He is not a “MALE CHAUVINIST PIG” - He has “SWINE EMPATHY.”
He is not afraid of “COMMITMENT” - He is “RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.”
He is not “HORNY” - He is “SEXUALLY FOCUSED.”
It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”
