Shut Down
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Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbott: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbott: That`s great, Lou. What did you get?
Costello: A Pentium III-866, with 256 Megs of RAM, a 30 Gig hard drive, and a 48X CD-ROM.
Abbott: That`s terrific, Lou.
Costello: But I don`t know what any of it means!
Abbott: You will in time.
Costello: Thats exactly why Im here to see you. I heard that you`re a real computer expert.
Abbott: Well, I don`t know . . .
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you`re going to train me.
Abbott: Really?
Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello: I am having no problem t urning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott: That`s true.
Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then . . .
Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off.
Abbott: I know, you press the Start button . . .
Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott: I did.
Costello: When?
Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott: To shut off the computer.
Costello: I press Start to stop?
Abbott: Well, Start doesn`t actually stop the computer.
Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?
Abbott: Start.
Costello: Start what?
Abbott: Start button.
Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbott: Shut down.
Costello: You don`t have to get rude!
Abbott: No, no, no! That`s not what I meant.
Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbott: To shut down the computer, press . . .
Costello: Don`t say, “Start!”
Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott: But that`s what you do.
Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbott: Don`t be ridiculous.
Costello: Im being ridiculous? Well, I think its about time we started this conversation.
Abbott: What are you talking about?
Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
Good one.
