[list]
[li] Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. [/li][li] Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. [/li][li] Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. [/li][li] Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. [/li][li] Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. [/li][li] Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. [/li][li] Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. [/li][li] Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. [/li][li] Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash. [/li][li] Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). [/li][li] Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bi**ni area but decide to get it waxed instead. [/li][li] Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the water pressure. [/li][li] Turn off shower. [/li][li] Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. [/li][li] Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. [/li][li] Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.Attack with nails/tweezers if found. [/li][li] Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. [/li][li] If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.[/li][list]
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as usual… no offence intented
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May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper.
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