How to say NO to a rishta?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

This is an arranged setting, so there is no need for you to say anything. Just tell your parents how you feel and they will take care of things. Or, the 'mutual friend' can pass the message on. Don't stress! :)

22

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Why do u feel he is going to harass her?!

I think it wouldnt be out of place if you let him know the reason yourself and your parents can talk to his parents as well. I just feel since u two have been communicating it might just help him understand it better if you let him know it yourself.

23

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

^ obviously theres a bond, if the parents say no, he may question this through her, what could she say then...!

24

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

:cb: I love the way guppies cover all possible grounds that the OP may encounter

25

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Why dont u just say that you have found another suitable rishta and you're no longer available.

I dont feel there is a need to neccessarily go into deep explanations or putting the guy down by saying that he wasnt a good match.

26

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Don't spit in his chips.

He'll realise its not going to work out.

27

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

wow, why make such a big deal out of it. Please don't reimburse the poor fellow that would just be cruel. Either call whomever set this up or the guy himself or leave it be.

28

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Bohut acha faisla hai Allah Mubarak karat. Achi English ka Na ana bout Bara masla hay or problem ke Saat waqee zindagi nahi gozari ja sakti.

29

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

just be honest, and tell him the truth.
and trust me that is the best u will do to him.
u r not the only beautiful girl left on this planet.
and kindly dont feel bad for the $800. cuz if someone sees a slightest hope they dont care about the money and they just go for it.

30

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

The Truth?!

31

^ just leads to a awkward situation, could become bitter. I am sure it will be fine, maybe I'm just thinking worst case scenario! Sorry!

32

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

well there is a rite way of saying even the truth. if she didnt find him attractive, she doesnt have to tell him that dude ur ugly or something of that sort. But just politely say it didnt click for me hence ....!!!

33

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Ok, take a deep breath and relax. One of the advantages of an arranged setup is that there are no strings attached. There should be no long drawn out rejections or any drama. A few texts or emails before or after a meeting don't constitute a relationship. You don't owe him anything. One phone call by your parents or mutual friend and end of story. I find reimbursement part a bit strange, both parties should be well aware of the risks involved before the meeting. There are never any guarantees.

Btw, it's funny how the resident moral police have jumped all over the OP for expressing a negative opinion of his English skills as one of the reasons for turning him down. She has the right to reject him based on anything no matter how trivial. It's her life and it's her prerogative. Deal with it. Feel free to open up an ESL center if you feel so strongly about it.

34

Re: How to say NO to a rishta?

Thank you for the replies. My parents today informed the go-between aunty that we would not be proceeding. He has not contacted me since and I have removed him from my fb friends. I doubt he will harass me or demand an explanation. For me the fact that we could not communicate adequately was part of why we did not proceed. We were communicating prior to the meeting but not to such an extent that *I *could recognize his difficulty with speaking English properly because we were speaking in Urdu before which, yes, was my fault because I should probably have checked out his English before he came over in person. My parents today gave the go-between aunty $1000 which covered his hotel and flight expenses to give to him because he is just a student and it would have taken him a long time to save up that amount and at the end of the day he is a nice guy but just not right for me..

I had seen his picture when initial communication began but there was a world of difference between the picture he showed me and what he really looked like. We were also told his height was 5'7" and it then dropped to 5'5" the morning of his arrival and when he got here he would have barely been 5'4".

Thanks for the replies.