So what’s the best way to respond to people who are looking for the negative angles in you or your life.
I recently got married Alhumdulila into a lovely family and a husband who is like a friend.
After a month, we moved to our separate home as my husband prefers a nuclear set up with the perks of privacy and independent decisions. My parents in law has also given free hand to all their sons that they can live separately if they wish. So no typical dramey bazi.
The problem is that as we move out, most people (excluding my immediate family and my husband’s immediate family) are having an impression that we must have moved out because of some big “fasaad/jhagra”. Some blame me and spread things like the girl has separated the guy from his parents and siblings so early, while others say that my MIL( who is a gem of a person) was doing Zulm on me.
these things/comments irks me too much and i really want to give all these people a hard punch.
i tried explaining to few the real reason for moving out but they are like “Sub esey hi baat sambhalte hain”.
I fail to understand why is it too difficult for people to digest that people can move out with mutual consent and in a friendly manner? Why do they think that you must have strained relationship with in-laws if you are not living with them? We spend few nights at my in-laws and they visit us frequently and yet when people hear this, they behave as if we are lying about it. All this is really bothering me, my husband tells me that i should not give a **** about it and should not even try to explain people anything. i know he is right about this but its bothering me. Can’t stand that people are forming an opinion that i am a bad DIL or my in-laws are bad people.
Re: How to respond to negative people
How others feel about you has nothing to do with you, all you are responsible for is your own feelings. We cant live our lives to please others.
Re: How to respond to negative people
It is not real issue.. yeh dunya hia… yahan guddhy ko sar bhithalo ya… gadhy par khud beht jao…dunya nay issue bana lean hai…
Living peacefully with inlaws is one thing… but living independently and separately is milestone… woh tamam desi auntiyan jinko apnay susral say choti ki kahni pari… sari zindagi nando aur saas ki duthkar pari ho… unko yeh baat hazam nahi hosakti hia… :cobra:
Re: How to respond to negative people
In situations like this I either kill them with kindness or completely ignore. Either way their opinions have no direct impact on your life. Don’t let them stress you out!
Re: How to respond to negative people
The best way to respond to negative people is to do exactly what your husband already told you to do. The other people aren’t the source of the problem here. As long as you feel the need to explain your life to anyone other than your husband, you’ll have issues.
Re: How to respond to negative people
I’ve found a fool proof way to shut aunties up now when they have any sort of BS to spew. No matter what they say, come back at them with ‘oh acha? Maybe that’s what happens in YOUR family, and that’s how YOU are treated/treat others, but alhamdulillah our family is EDUCATED and SMART enough to not have issues like that’. Give it 10 seconds before she defends herself/her family and then say ‘but you just said…’.
Leaves them dazed and confused and then they think twice about shooting BS in your direction in the future. Has worked every time for me without fail.