hjgal, thats a pretty typical response but also one that is SO very detrimental to the child, MOSt esp a child with disabilities. They arent totally clueless and they know that they can get away with whatever they want, whatever bad behaviors they feel like doing when you take that approach. They need to learn how to live in society, they need to learn the rules and even the most severely handicapped of children CAN learn these rules. Things like not touching other people's food or plates, not being overly affectionate. It can take ALLLL your efforts and ALL your time but its a necessary thing to teach and something that they can all learn. Its IMPORTANT to teach them how to function in society and indulging personal feelings of guilt or denial does nothing but harm to the child.
I don't know if I had it me to say something to someone else child that was disabled. I would feel aweful.
I understand your point. I think it makes the parents job so much harder.