Re: how to raise emotionally strong kids…
^^^
I would think tell him if you do that khala will not play with you, and when he pulls her hair she should stop playing with him, let him cry or fuss then explian him why kahla is not playing with him. Reinforcing good behaviour is v important IMO.
we started giving hi time out when he was about 18/20 months because before that kids wont understand what time out is. Instead of yelling and hitting timeout is a better option IMO, my son has a chair where he sits whenever he does something wrong. The idea behind time out is to remove them from the situation. I tell him that you did so and so wrong go and sit for TO. He used to protest and all but now he got it, he protests for 2 sec and then goes to sit by himself, about 70-80% of the stuff he gets time out for he doesn’t repeat, the stuff he repeats we try to give him 3 warnings and if he does not listen then too bad.
After time out(as I mention in one of the posts above) me or hubby who ever gave him time out will talk to him, but first we ask him what does he thinks he does wrong and if he thinks it is nice and if someone else does the same thing how will he feel etc and have a small talk then we always hug him and tell him mama/papa love you but you misbehaved and thats why TO.
Another thing I started noticing was that instead of yelling at him esp when we are in a gathering and if all kids are misbehaving I just say 1-2 and before three he stops, and then I tell him to do xyz.. you should see when 3-4 kids doing baad-tamizi parents will yelling their names out running after them, not with our son he exactly knows his limits, he is not perfect, he can’t be but still atleats we are trying to help him behave in a socially acceptable way . Having said all this, he still misbehaves, still does naughty things but we ignore some and address the ones where he can get hurt or someone else can get hurt, or stuff that is plain BAD, it is all about perspective.
Let me give you an example, one of our neighbours who are very dear friends, they have a daughter 5 year old, my son is almost 4, so they play well together(sometimes). When they come over my son shares 99% of his toys, whatever is new or he really likes we tell him to not play with that when she is here because if he wants to play while she is at our place he HAS to share, when he doesn’t share or postpone playing with that toy, we take him on a side and tell him to choose, does he want to play with her or he wants to sit in his chair. He will think for 2 sec and offcourse would want to play then he shares/or does as told. BUTTT when we go to our friends house, first thing the daughter does(mostly) is stands in the hallway with her arms stretched that our son will not be allowed in the house only me and hubby can come. Her parents will go on telling her it is not nice will almost beg, then when she finally listens there she she goes and stands in front of her room that he will not come in the room and play with her toys, we will tell our son ok koi baat nahi aap mama/papa ke saath aa kar kheelo, we usually take his crayon/paper for situation like this. SO while her parents are in there negotiating a deal that our son should be allowed in her room, our son starts colouring or be playing with us, she will come storming and will take his papers or start crying, parents again will be babying her, I mean come onnnn teach her thing or two. She also gets upset if my son is sitting with us or watching TV in their living room she will come and turn the TV off or will start pulling him to come play with her. 50% of time we are together parents will be negotiating one thing or the other with her. Well in our household we call the shots, with my son’d input, he know he is part of everything we do, he knows his limits too. We see so many cases like these around us.
So discipline is must with tenderness/love and care. We would never put our son for timeout where he can’t see us, or in dark or make him stand in a corner. I mean discipline, love literally everything a child learns, starts from his/her home and first 6-7 years are the building years, after that you can just watch how they are growing and pray for the best. We want our son to be courteous, independent, happy child.
Nowadays my son keeps singing 
anything and everything, but I tell him azan ke time par, namaz ke time par, when someone is talking/sleeping he should not sing bc woh disturn hote hain. If he wants to sing he can go to his room and sing, so he is almost getting it but still forgets so remind him politely mama ke kia bataya hai singing ka?? he realizes and immediately follows..but then sometimes he will insist 'mama acha song hai, then I tell him mama namaz parh rahi hai aap apne room mein gao ja kar…
I hope you guys got what I am trying to say in the lonngggg post above