How to Please Your I.T. Department

Uncle_Stalker · July 22, 2006, 3:29pm

Kissi Buhat hi Dill Jalay IT walay nay likha hay yeh

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to
leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures,
stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s
art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch
a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don’t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the
error messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he’s coming right over, go for
coffee. That way you won’t be there when we need your password.
It’s nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not
what’s keeping you from getting it. We don’t need to know that
you can’t get into your mail because your computer won’t power on
at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high
importance, delete it at once. We’re just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk
right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks
it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn’t work, call computer support.
There’s electronics in it.

9. When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an
I.T. person’s chair with no name, no phone number and no
description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don’t
have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an I.T. person tells you that he’ll be there
shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many
weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

12. When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20
times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send
the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound
to work.

14. Don’t learn the proper term for anything technical. We
know exactly what you mean by “My thingy blew up”.

15. Don’t use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

paki_boy · July 22, 2006, 5:08pm