So my mil incoming back next week.insha Allah as is my husband from hajj.
So far relations have been excellent she’s been.sweet bought.me a gift and has said love u in her texts to me :00000
But this all maybe hajj feelings
How yo keep this relations uo
Re: how to keep good relations
Even though I would still like husband all to.myself. and need to fight this jealousy within md
Re: how to keep good relations
cash on your MIL's 'change of heart' and a total transformation of personality [she has been re-incarnated! :)] and try to keep it the way it is now. don't let your insecurities catch up with you. i hope she will stay the same in future as well. you and her got a golden opportunity to mend things up.
good luck. cook feereeni and biryani the day your MIL arrives. :)
Re: how to keep good relations
I would suggest pulao, korma, and sheer khurma.
Re: how to keep good relations
Don't say or even think things like "This all may be Hajj feelings." This kind of negative and suspicious behavior is what destroys relationships.
Accept her good deeds with graciousness and openness. But have no expectations of her, so you don't constantly resent what didn't happen like you wanted.
Don't look for reasons to take offense. Don't obsess over reasons to feel insulted.
Accept that everyone around you is flawed and self-centered. That doesn't make them bad or evil or malicious. It just makes them human.
Re: how to keep good relations
This ^
Re: how to keep good relations
Did you tell her that you love her too?
Re: how to keep good relations
Did you tell her that you love her too?
yaaraa, don't push it too far! :D
Re: how to keep good relations
yaaraa, don't push it too far! :D
Itna masoomana sawal hai mera :)
Re: how to keep good relations
Itna masoomana sawal hai mera :)
ma'soom logoN ke ma'soom 'sawaal' jaise gali ke nokkaR pe khaRaa koii ma'soom faqeer. :D :)
Re: how to keep good relations
Yeah.mil hasn't slept for 3 days has been.on a.chair as floor is too hard.and there's stones etc she's very tired.
Husband was sayig he will have tosleep in.same room to keep an eye on her. Her feet all swollen and unwell
Now THIS made.me.jealous again.
What the hell.is.wrong with me.why.can't I accept wife.relationship is different.
Re: how to keep good relations
What S02 said.
Also, keep karma in mind. Remind yourself that if you create problems for your husband and his relationship with his mom....if you allow your jealousy to get the better of you and you lash out in a way that hurts your husband and mil..........it'll come back to you at some point. For every action there's a reaction.....so if you do wrong....you'll pay for it somehow. There will be a domino effect. And the worst price you could pay is to end up with a strained marriage which will hurt your kids too. You dan either decide to act in a way that will push your marriage backward....or make it progress forward. And MashaAllah se you're taking steps forward....so don't undo the progress you've made.
Re: how to keep good relations
Have you tried thinking of this in vice versa. Him being you.. His mum being your mom?
How would you want him to behave?
Putting yourself in his shoes will help you understand his love.. And intention.
And if you have trouble understanding his mother's love for him.. Think of it like the way you'd love your kid
Sometimes things do go out of hand.. But if she's willing to be expressive and starting fresh.. Welcome the change.... Love is short and it shouldn't be wasted on planting hatred feelings.
Re: how to keep good relations
Please make plans for next years hajj. You need it :)
Yeah.mil hasn't slept for 3 days has been.on a.chair as floor is too hard.and there's stones etc she's very tired.
Husband was sayig he will have tosleep in.same room to keep an eye on her. Her feet all swollen and unwell
Now THIS made.me.jealous again.
What the hell.is.wrong with me.why.can't I accept wife.relationship is different.
Re: how to keep good relations
Yeah.mil hasn't slept for 3 days has been.on a.chair as floor is too hard.and there's stones etc she's very tired.
Husband was sayig he will have tosleep in.same room to keep an eye on her. Her feet all swollen and unwell
Now THIS made.me.jealous again.
What the hell.is.wrong with me.why.can't I accept wife.relationship is different.
It is normal to feel moments of petty jealousy and resentment. But as a mature, responsible, thinking adult you don't allow these emotions to take over. Struggle everyday to be a better person and set a good example for your family. inshAllah the struggle will become easier and the rewards will be well worth the effort.
Re: how to keep good relations
A wife is different right? He will.need me more yes?
*bah humbug
Re: how to keep good relations
A wife is different right? He will.need me more yes?
*bah humbug
huh?
Re: how to keep good relations
Don't say or even think things like "This all may be Hajj feelings." This kind of negative and suspicious behavior is what destroys relationships.
Accept her good deeds with graciousness and openness. But have no expectations of her, so you don't constantly resent what didn't happen like you wanted.
Don't look for reasons to take offense. Don't obsess over reasons to feel insulted.
Accept that everyone around you is flawed and self-centered. That doesn't make them bad or evil or malicious. It just makes them human.
Totally agree. Be nice n don't have any expectations. If she's being nice, I would be happy.
Re: how to keep good relations
She might also have feelings like that too that she has to deal with, I mean she did raise him for many years and now he spends a lot of time with you I'm sure?
I get feelings of jealousy at times too - I'm sure it happens to everyone but the fact is to recognize that it's hard for his mom too. Women don't like to share but
you will always be his wife and she will always be his mother. Try to see her as your own mother and act as though you would want your brother's wife to act towards your own mom.
Re: how to keep good relations
Make sure your SMS responses to MIL are free of typos and "u"s