I have a small problem. As I have mentioned in another thread, I am getting married to a Pakistani (I am white) in Pakistan. Since my family is very happy about my choice, they will accompany me to my wedding in Pakistan.
Now I know that this will be somewhat a real culture shock to them and I would like to ask you, if you have any ideas, how I can introduce them bit by bit to this new culture. Also, I do not want to make a bad impression (with my family)…
^ Tough! I'd say be honest- tell them its a third world country and they can't go up there expecting very much to be the same as it is in Europe. Think of it as an adventure!
Also make sure to get all your Hep A/Hep B and other shots before you guys go, and of course, as in any other Third World country, tell them to be smart about food and drink. Roadside stands, while yummy, are a no-no, as is water from the tap.
Culturally speaking, make sure they pack appropriate clothing- the girls can wear jeans but with long, hip covering tops. No spaghetti straps or even sleeveless (depending on your fiance's family), and NO cleavage at all.
The men should not hug or even shake hands with women, even if they are family members, same goes with the ladies in your family and the men in his. Maybe they could learn basics in language too, like Assalam o aleikum and Khuda Hafiz.
Pack bug spray, Tylenol, Immodium (and if you can, get the Dukoral shots before you go), also the ladies should take their time of the month equipment with them, if they anticipate that happening during the trip.
For gifts to take from Europe, chocolates are always yummy and welcome!
hey u not suppose to scare them.. lol.. if the "white" girl is in Pakistan and is marrying a PAksitani guy, I am sure we have something good in ourselves..
Yea it is a culture shock.. two different worlds..
the points regarding how we meet.. definitely.. especially the physical interaction - NO NO.. but i think they can forgiven.. I am sure ur parents connected with world and most probably would have some basic idea - Indian culture.
I would normally get someone else in Pakistan to take them around.. like the driver to take them around and help them do shopping. Shopping is the best way to learn teh culture.. u meet people, you interact with them. If you take them around, you'll feel really conscious, because you'll try to hide things.. so they wont get the whole picture.. let the driver or some local friend take them around... ITS REALLY EXCITING I TELL YA - they will love it!!!
regarding clothes.. be conservative.. u know wat i mean.. u living there!
Pakistani's are very hospitable...everyone will be very nice and polite but you may also encounter some things which may seem a little weird to you...Pakistan is still a developing country - there are good and bad places to go to. Depending on what city you're going too...if its Karachi, people are quite liberal -- by that I mean the crowd you would be hanging out with ... Islamabad is also quite out there, Lahore is a little more conservative!
Best advice is to ensure your family visits some of the tourist sites within the city you travel too..there are some great shopping malls, awesome restaurants etc to go too...Pakistan isent the safest place to visit at the moment so try avoiding going to places that you're not comfy with !
Mostly though..house parties and get togethers are the best bet...you get to meet a lot of different people, socialize, have some awesome food and have a good time!!
^peshawar? i think you need a local to give you some advice then. what has your fiance said about it?
i think your family will really need to be prepared for the conservativeness outdoors. even if inside the home the atmosphere is more relaxed. like will the ladies need to be super covered outdoors with a full chadur? what can they expect in the family home? will ladies and men sit and eat separately? etc etc.
i'm sure they won't make a bad impression but they do need to know what to expect and why certain traditions are the way they are.
even i got the heebie jeebies when my dad suggested i go there with him. but that's mainly because i wouldn't have known anyone and my dad would have left me with some women and i wouldn't have seen him he whole time since the people he was visiting keep everything super segregated.
