Re: How to instill your values in children
Peace All
Firstly to address the question of the thread starter.
How to instill values in your children without making them opinionated about others.
This is not as easy as some people here would have us believe. By teaching difference we are going to cause difference, by allowing unrestricted access we are going to cause assimilation by the dominant culture.
To address more specifically ... It is of paramount importance to teach the loving of people and caring for their feelings. At the same time we should teach our children never to alienate anyone, but rather to be the bond in all things good.
Muslims are arbitrators,
However, we should also tell our children the truth that as Muslims we are required to have different customs, and different beliefs even if we like their customs but at the same time we are also required to respect other people in their customs and rites even if we disagree with them.
Thus we are to tell the children that unIslamic deeds are to be disliked whereas the people who do those unIslamic deeds should be liked.
With regards to Christmas: Never begin a greeting with Merry Christmas unless you are greeted first with it, then to it reply "and to you also", do not say "I don't celebrate Christmas". Rather always wish peace and guidance of God on to others if you greet them first.
Never initiate the giving of Christmas cards, but rather return the gesture by giving cards to those who have given you a card. Making sure that the symbols on the card are more to do with season than to do with the idea of Christmas itself.
Do not have your own christmas trees and do not host your own christams-get-together, but if someone invites you then attend their function dressing in the correct Islamic manner and observing all Islamic rules whilst in their house as guests. i.e. don't eat Haram and avoid the places where people are drinking alcohol.
In Surah Fatihah we pray that Allah (SWT) puts us on the path of guidance which is different from those who earned His Wrath and different from those who went astray.
The Jews being the chosen people, adulterated their position; they were taught difference in status by their peers and thus became arrogant towards others.
The Christians however, relaxed every law that was sacred and that caused them to dilute their faith in the favour of loving others.
Both are warned against in the Qur'an. It is quite possible to love others and have others respect you even if you don't adopt their culture. The way to do this is to tell your children that Muslims have a great responsibility. We are to be rich in our own customs even when the dominant culture is different to ours. But we are to be inviting in our customs. When we have Eid invite our non-Muslim relatives and invite our neighbours whatever their religion.
Say to your children that Muslims need to be the best people, and we need to be the kindest and most considerate, but at the same time we are to be strong in our identity and strong in our worship of One God.
When comes Christmas and you are given presents return the gesture with a thank you or a token gift. When comes Eid give those Christmas celebrators gifts with two arms open. Let them know that we have two Eids for their one Christmas.
Teach your children to be humble before their Lord and not arrogant in any sense to others. Teach your children to adopt the good things and avoid the bad things in the customs of others, but never let that replace their own customs and values that should be demonstrated with more effort and more visibility.
There is a fine line between adopting customs and respecting them and another fine line between avoiding customs and being arrogant to the people who do them. Teach your children to be on the better half of those dichotomies.
Pray Allah (SWT) give us guidance and tawfiq to establish our Islamic identies in wisdom. Ameen.
Subhanallah beautifully said!
same as done in matrix. :roman
u have to install the software in them.
softwares get attacked with viruses u know... u need anti-virus installed in them as well :)