Re: how to impress sweet churii(knife) MIL?
I’m not taking sides here. But it’s not necessarily so that the OP has labeled the MIL as a “meethi churi” from the get-go. Usually it takes several interactions with a person to form an opinion about their personality or character. In other words, this opinion may not have been formed “right from the beginning”…but maybe later on after several interactions with the MIL. Now…none of us have witnessed the interactions between the MIL and the OP. Perhaps the OP (the DIL) is more at fault…or it could be the MIL…or it could be both of them messing things up.
I agree with you that the younger generation CAN learn from the older. The OP can learn (if she’s mature enough to have an open-mind and positive attitude) cooking/household strategies and tips from her MIL. The OP says she already knows how to do all household chores…but it wouldn’t hurt to learn/consider a different way of doing things that could even be more time-efficient. HOWEVER…at the same time…there’s a proper/decent way to teach or advise someone. And let’s face it…most people don’t take too well to comments like “You don’t know how to do anything”…“You learned nothing”…“Your parents didn’t teach you squat.” Such comments sting…they’re not pleasant…and they can potentially shut the person’s mind to learning. There is a more positive way to teach.
And I know that some members (especially the guys) will argue that you can’t expect the older generation to change their ways…and therefore the younger generation has to be more flexible. Okay, fine…SOMEBODY has to have more maturity and tolerance, I agree with that. BUT at the same time such mentality cannot be used to as an excuse for ill-behavior. The elders ALSO have a responsibility to be mindful of the words they say and their manner of speaking. The “reasoning” that they’re too “set in their ways to change” is no excuse for that. Developing and improving one’s character (becoming more patient, minding your tongue, controlling your temper)…is an ongoing life process that is NOT confined only to the DIL or younger generation…it also includes the older generation too. It can also be argued that the older generation are expected to set a positive example for those that are younger than them (and this would also include things like attitude, manner of speaking, etc). From a religious perspective, while patience and tolerance and forgiveness are emphasized…one’s age and relation (in-laws/parents/siblings, etc) will not fly as excuses for disrespect.
I’m not saying that the fault lies with one person more than the other. Rather, I’m saying that establishing a respectful relationship involves efforts from BOTH parties.