Re: How to help a friend see the light and move onto from a painful past?
^This.
I think it’s not just the familiarity, but also the amount of time she’s spent with him. Maybe she feels that all that time, be it months or years, will have gone to waste if this affair doesn’t result in a marriage. If this is the case, then she’s stuck more in the past and not concentrating on the present and future.
Apart from the above two psychological reasons, another factor to examine would be her self-esteem and why she doesn’t want a guy who would be a more dedicated father. Does she think that she’s not worthy of someone better or that she won’t be able to find someone better?
I think you should address the possible psychological reasons with your friend as they might get to the root of the problem. She may at first disagree, but you would have planted the ideas in her mind and maybe she’ll start to really think about things.
Lastly, if there are activities that she has slacked off on such as hobbies, personal goals, and even ibadat (which can bring peace), encourage her to get back on track with that so she has less time to dwell on him. If possible, a break or change in scenery. Maybe join her in various activities so she has company. It’s a process, it will take time.