PyariCgudia:
some points, from the perspective of a woman who is also looking around for a rishtaa.
As far as his education and job aspirations go, you’re not getting a bad deal at all. He is getting educated, he is going to have a job, hopefully. What is wrong with a phd??? What is wrong with being an academic??? That’s just friggin crazy. Are you wanting her to marry a human being or marry a job title?
You spend way too much time with her. Let her be a little free, and maybe she’ll meet more people.
He’s calling her. That’s what I call a MAN. He’s a keeper.
You have a point - he could be a frequent flier and just comes in and out of girl’s lives. But you don’t know that, you’re just assuming because he’s on some temporary stay for education. That could just be part of the student experience, you know. I doubt he planned to travel for education just so that he could get laid. If he was looking for booty, he probably would not have stayed at your house, he probably would not do that with a friend’s sister, and he probably would do that with some anonymous girl as oppose to someone whose family he knows and stayed with. Besides, he’s just asking to spend some time with her.
Dating can be viewed as Islamically wrong, I guess. But you’re clearly interested in him as a prospect, so why not invite him over for dinner and let the two of them hang out or something…or encourage her to feel like its OK to want to talk to him. It could be she’s just letting you know she thinks he is a CHIPKU, so you don’t think she’s got anything dirty on her mind. I do that all the time with my dad. If he so much as sees a guy and starts talking about him at home, he will look at me, and without even thinking I have this kneejerk response of saying something negative about the guy. It’s not like I don’t have any interest. I just have this kneejerk reaction to emphasize to my dad that I’m not going to be a “bad girl” and go after men, although, looking for a mate is not wrong at all. I guess by admitting you have a neeed to be married, I feel sometimes that screams out “I’m a desperate whore”. I guess that’s just how our desi culture tries to train us to think anything sexual or anything romantic is just BAD and EVIL and from SHAITAAN.
I dunno. Wacky theory, I guess.
I agree with you on this one.
1.I have no problem with his educational aspiration, this what commented by my son and someone else, just want to hear others prospective.
She is very homely person except hanging out with her few females friends or going her class reunion there is not much things she do outside.
Agree with you that he is here for education, on other side if he has habit of seeking girls then, my son certainly would have mentioned. But I need to make sure he since he is here for another few months only it would always remain.
Islam actually allow man and women to see each others (may not be in the manner of dating today) before decide to marry. And I am not so worried about her CHIPKU comments.
Lets see how thing goes.