Re: How to handle a crying woman/girl
I know there are situations where the crying can’t be helped. I think very few people actually “want” to cry at work…and especially before their superiors. In most cases people try to hold it in…and then there comes a breaking point.
HOWEVER…I do agree that if it’s a frequent behavior where the waterworks begin before the issues are even addressed …it raises questions as to whether the person is using it s a manipulative/defensive strategy.
I would suggest discussing her behavior…when she’s calm…NOT when she’s crying or has effed up. When you see that she’s relaxed…approach her…and tell her that you wanted to discuss something with her in a positive/constructive way and that you have NO intention to offend/hurt. If you start it like that…it can put her a bit at ease. Start with her positive qualities. She may seem incompetent…but pick something positive (maybe she’s cooperative, nice, etc)…and then discuss your concerns. Tell her that while mistakes can happen by anyone…the FREQUENT (yes, mention frequent) crying prevents one from understanding her…prevents clear communication…and as a result is not productive in resolving issues. When you let her know that she’s been crying frequently…it can make her reflect over her behavior as it points out that it’s being noticed by others and needs to be toned down. Bringing up her positive points won’t make her feel like a complete failure.
You can talk to your boss…and have the boss talk to her. But if the boss decides to let her stay…this can result in negative vibes between you and her. People don’t appreciate being tattled on to the boss. They tend to prefer direct communication. So, if you can…then talk to her first…as opposed to rushing to complain to the boss. She may shape up, become stronger, be more careful about mistakes. And if she doesn’t improve after you’ve talked to her…and it’s still affecting you…then tell the boss.
I agree with RV. this is what u should do. by telling her that this crying thing makes her look bad and foolish infront of everyone, might make her realise the situation.