I hate public speaking.
I hate it even more when I am wearing sari.
But I have been asked by my beloved Aunt to speak at my cousin’s wedding and I cannot refuse.
What are components of a great wedding speech or toast? Creative ideas?
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
Great thread, NJ! I need to think about this too with both brothers’ weddings coming up this year, inshAllah.
So just based upon my experience in the audience, here are a few that come to mind:
- Limit the inside jokes. 1-2 quick references to something are ok for a little laugh, but constant references that most people won’t understand will just make people feel excluded.
- Share a few personal stories. You can make the inside jokes something for everyone to share by providing some context and explaining the significance on the bride/groom’s wedding day.
- Remember that it is a wedding, and keep it tasteful. I still remember a friend’s wedding where some other friends of his were making all sorts of explicit references to the tummy issues the groom had upon eating lots of chole.
Just because you have a story about the bride/groom doesn’t mean you need to share it. - It’s good to playfully make fun of the bride/groom, but remember this is not a roast, but an event celebrating the couple and their future together.
- Don’t just read a top-ten list about marriage/men/women that you got as an email forward. BUT you could use it as inspiration for something that you write yourself.
- Don’t just say things. Make sure that by the end of the speech we understand the purpose of what is said at the beginning.
- Relating to the above, try to bring the speech back full circle, connecting a comment/anecdote from the beginning to the end.
- Try not to make the speech about yourself or your group of friends. I have heard people talk about themselves way too much at wedding speeches. Unless you’re the parent (and maybe the sibling), it’s just not appropriate.
- If you’re going to discuss negative qualities/flaws/ or bad first impressions of the bride/groom, make sure that you twist them to the positive during the course of the speech. If there is no positive, don’t talk about it!
- Make sure that the tone of the speech reflects your relationship with the bride/groom. If you are silly together, then make your speech silly. If you are more like a caring parent, then reflect that tone in your speech. Try not to be someone you’re not in your speech.
I’ll add more as I think of them.
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
Do we have these speech things within pak too?
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
never heard of any such thing in pak.
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
if you need a working example you could use mine!!
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/502933-wedding-speeches.html
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
oh I also heard speeches at my cousins wedding, and they kept saying "raise your glasses" at the end of each speech - the older generation thought- 'omg we dont drink alcohol!' and took it offensively- so stick to- "round of applause" or something more neutral.
And give some religious references- like "Thanks to Allah so and so grew to be a beautiful human being..." I heard a lot of back chatting because there was a lack of religious sentiment in the speeches.
No inappropriate jokes- sex relationships all that jazz is a no no!! you are dealing with a lot of elders in your community, keep it respectful! PG!!
If like me, you had to make a speech for someone of a different culture or religious background, keep it focussed on your relationship with the bride/groom.
Inshallah you;ll do a fantastic job, keep talking before you start the speech so your tongue is relaxed and moving, don't stay quiet otherwise you wont be in the casual conversation tone! No1 likes to hear from someone reading out loud from the list of notes they've written down- work from your memory, make eye contact and chin up, casual glances to your notes perhaps but don't talk too formally, don;t alienate the crowed!
hope that helps!!
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
Oh and keep it short!! one side of A4 size 12 (lol) is enough- the wedding i went to the speeches went on for over 40 minutes- i swear people got tired from listening! short and sweet i say!!
Sorry i posted so many posts- I really hope it helps!
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
don't forget to add some humorous quotes.
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
get help from "The Hangover", i remember there was a wedding speech in that movie :)
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
Thank God someone replied to my thread. Good Suggestions.
What is the appropriate length - under 10 minutes?
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
10 max. Depends on who you are. 2-3 is good too.
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
The shorter the better. Stuffed up aunties and uncles would not have much of an attention span.
- Look hot so people stop doing what they are doing and they can focus on you
. - Start with a joke and blend it in with your commentary.
- Keep it simple. DO not use heavy vocabulary…do throw in a couple of big words though
- Do express your privilege and honor is having this opportunity to talk.
- Convey your heartfelt blessings for the couple.
Re: How to give a great speech at a wedding
Don’t start crying like a crazy person 
that ruins any good speech.