Hello GupShupers!
I stated previously but I recently got engaged to a guy through arranged marriage. I did istikhara and everything fell into place. We talk a few times a week on phone but are both not big talkers and on the shy side. What are some ways that we can get close to each other? I’d kinda like to move past the general basic talk. And also he lives in the south while I’m on east coast. So meeting up isn’t a frequent option.
Re: How to get closer…
Is it wise to get emotionally attached during the engagement period ? maybe random talk is better because that way you can work out what type of person he is and it will be easier to leave if he is not your type?
tbh i dont really know but well, if you do want to talk about more meaningful things.. i guess he’d have to want to do the same thing ? maybe just ask him anything that you’d like to ask him and let him know that he too can ask you questions about anything?
Re: How to get closer…
Yes you have a point. But it’s still hard to judge someone on such basic conversation.
Re: How to get closer…
If you’re only asking questions that require a one-word ..yes or no…type answer, then conversation will not progress very far. Ask him more open-minded questions which require a person to say more than just one word in response. Tell him about a scenario or something you read/saw…and ask him his opinion. If you don’t know what his likes/dislikes or favorite things are…you can start with those questions, too.
Re: How to get closer…
Don’t listen to people who say you shouldn’t get too attached before marriage. So what, you’re meant to marry someone and see how it goes? GREAT ADVICE.
I think more time you spend towards building a relationship, the closer you guys will get with time. Now when I say this, I don’t mean hassling each other ALL the time. But like all the things in life, the more constructive time you input, the greater yield of the outputs.
It’s really sweet you guys are both shy. Pretty darn cute. I think the best way to circumvent this aspect is being a little brave every so often and asking a question, or putting yourself out there in a manner which wouldn’t align with your typical shy habits. Not only are you showcasing another dimension of your personality, but such acts can help with the other person following your lead. This can help you guys dive in a bit further.
All the best to you both! 
Re: How to get closer…
Strange you have to ask. Why not make him a cup of chai and ask if he likes??? Just a thought 
Re: How to get closer…
Thank you @Coughkhaansi, I really appreciate your advice. I also think engagement time is for building relationships and that it can be done without crossing the line. Just would like to begin somewhere with him that’s more than a general comfort level.
Re: How to get closer…
I guess you guys already talk but in another world even wanting to speak to your fiance, is considered being too brave/bold whatever ..so i was just trying to say its better to be careful.
Re: How to get closer…
The conversation (imo) should flow somewhat easily. Ask his likes, dislikes, ask his favorite movie, books, ask what he does for hobbies…just start randomly talking about anything…the sun, how hot/rainy it was. Talk about your favorite place or ask his favorite place. The conversation must be open ended questions and discussions in order for there to be a conversation. Since you are both shy, one of you has to be more open to talking about random stupid stuff right now. Make Jokes…talk about a recen movie you watched or something you’ve learned about etc. ask
About his career…what is he looking forward to in the future about being married…idk anything…this is not a time to be shy…by a time to learn each other. (IMO…I could be wrong…but…how else do you get to know someone?)
Re: How to get closer…
Congratulations by the way
Re: How to get closer…
Such great responses. Thank you. Will try to incorporate some of these.
Re: How to get closer…
Many people are naturally shy and not very good at conversations, especially with someone from opposite gender they are or going to be closely associated.
Some people are better at expressing their thoughts, views and preferences in writing, it also negates the fear of immediate negative reaction from other person and also does not make you look awkward or feel shy whilst you are trying to open up or pour your heart out.
Many couples get to know each with text messages and some written form of communication like a webchat. You could try that.
All the best 
Re: How to get closer…
I will try that. Thanks for all the advice. I think girls want relationships to move faster than boys.
Re: How to get closer…
^^ Well depend on what you mean by relationship but i think yes
Re: How to get closer…
Meaning faster emotional bonding. Women are willing to share more of themselves with the other person compared to men.
Re: How to get closer…
True.
Send him gifts…
Re: How to get closer…
Send him memes? Youtube videos you might both enjoy talking about,
Possible tv shows?
Similar stories…
If you guys have things in common, talk about those things…
The girls where I got along with the best always were easy to talk to because we had things in common. Like similar job fields, hobbies, outlook on life, similar music tastes?
Re: How to get closer…
Why do you want to get close? do you have any doubts? I say let time take its course.
Re: How to get closer…
Honestly men don’t have much to share, we are mostly shallow and driven by impulse we weren’t designed for emotional connections, we were designed to fight and protect. Smart men put on this show in front of their wives. Most of the guys I know are crazy childish when wives are not watching. I even watch chick flicks to keep her happy. Yesterday I wasn’t so happy as she did not dress nice for me, for me if she makes an effort to look nice for me I like that. Send him some nice pics, he will appreciate that more.