how to fix the unfixable

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Ok so.. For the sake of background we have 2 main characters in this story.. John and Sara.

John is a loose cannon sort of guy he does what he wills when he wants as he wants it, many people would call him selfish and destructive as he never thinks of the consequences of any of his actions. He has had a past (understatement) he’s been in and out of prison, multiple relationships, drugs that sorta thing. Basically he is the type of guy ur mother wud warn u about. After making many years and mistakes in his life John tries to get on the right track and has tried many times but fails miserbly each time. During one of the times he attempts to do right by himself and the loved ones around him John decides he is done with girls and all the other haraam and feels the need to settle down and lead a halal life (yes John is Muslim) so he begs his parents to find him a rishta so he can move on and leave the past behind him. His parents sit and talk to him after the many struggles he has put them thru and drill it into him for months that this is not a decision to make if he can’t handle the responsibilities. John remains adamant that this is the life he wants to lead and so his parents go on a search and find Sara. Sara is a sweet gharelu type of girl with an over active imagination on love and seems to fall for the ‘bad boy turned good for her only’ type of guy that John appeared to be.. After a lot of turbulence John and Sara finally get married.
Less then a year on and a few extra dramas later John is back in prison for a breach of some sort of rules police had given him upon his release the last time he was in prison. Upon his arrest johns family get hold of his phone and find out he has been cheating on Sara, and is involving himself in alot of other horrendous things. Everyone is gob smacked and his parents regret the day they let him convince them to get him married to someone he clearly does not deserve.

Now johns family are faced with a huge dilemma.. Johns wife is currently abroad living with her mother and father and has no idea about her husbands antics.. Johns parents have considered the following options..

  1. send him abroad to settle down as he will never settle down properly due to the crowd he is involved with. It is also worth mentioning here that due to his background he has left him self very little opportunity to lead a normal life in his country of residence.

  2. when his wife comes back make her independent ie support her with a job and then give her the option to remarry

I personally feel concealing john’s actions is not the right thing to do and want johns parents to tell her so Sara can make her own decision of what she wants.

Any more suggestions on how to do some serious damage control wud be appreciated.

2

Re: how to fix the unfixable

Women ''think'' that men change , but they don't really . If he is in a habit of criminal activities then it won't just stop by changing the country . He'll find some ways to do it again in other country too .

​He need counseling and education so he can start earning money in halal ways .

3

Re: how to fix the unfixable

Yup, John's parent should tell Sara what he has been upto, and what you mentioned for the option 2, and let her decide what she wants to do. John was given a chance to reform but he didn't, not only getting in trouble with the law AGAIN but also CHEATING his wife. These are two strikes against him when just even one of these would be reason enough to divorce IMO.

It's very unlikely that he will change, even if the couple moved to some other country. Therefore it would be very unfair to ruin his wife's life, just because she is sweet gharelu *kind of girl. I am assuming Sara lives with her family *"*back home" and, if so, it is all the more important to get divorced ASAP because prolonging perhaps for a few more years what seems inevitable will only make it harder for her to later get married, especially if kids become involved. And I think it won't be stretch to say that kids will become involved sooner rather than later because John's next delusion could very well entail thinking, and convincing his *gharelu wife, that once he becomes a father, he will reform and become more responsible, and other blah blah, but that of course will NOT happen.

4

Re: how to fix the unfixable

They should tell Sara the truth, all the facts and then give her the outcomes of possible choices; if at all possible, they should sit down wiht her and her family face to face.

Basically, leave it up to her (and her family) to decide what she wants to do wiht her life. It's important that they not behave as if she's somehow at fault (she isn't, but you know how some people can be retarded) or look down upon her if she decides to break up with him.

5

how to fix the unfixable

Thanks guys.. Let's say johns parents are refusing to tell Sara for whatever reasons they believe this is the correct way to proceed.. Johns friend.. 'X' knows about the antics.. Would it be X's place to tell Sara what her husband has been doing? X has already made it clear to johns parents to not expect him to keep quiet about this.

6

Re: how to fix the unfixable

^Lama You were missed !