As we all know, our weddings have at LEAST a mendhi, baraat, and valima function, not to mention other events like mayoon, dholkis, etc etc. And then there’s the honeymoon, of course.
How does a working couple find the time to fit in all the functions within the week? Of course, getting a few weeks of vacation during the wedding period is ideal, but how should one manage if that is not the case? I often see entire weddings happening over the course of a weekend - mendhi on Friday, baraat on Saturday, and valima on Sunday. However, I feel like having every event in succession (especially if you had to work the week before!) is kind of exhausting. I’d be nice to have a day or two in between here or there! Having a wedding during a long weekend is nice, but aren’t hall prices increased during this time? How does it work when split over the course of two weekends? And do people go on honeymoon right away or wait until later? And what about family in Pakistan that is unable to attend your wedding? I had a friend who went with her husband to Pakistan two months after their wedding in North America to meet each others’ families for the first time and have a reception there. What about taking time out to go to Pakistan before your wedding to shop?
I am trying to figure out how to do this for my wedding that is coming up in a few years. On one hand, I’d love to take months off to have my wedding, honeymoon, and a Pakistan trip, but I have to save up money to fund all this at the same time.
How did it work for you, ladies? How did you balance work with your wedding? Did you have it all over the course of a weekend or spread it out? And how did you balance other things like the honeymoon and trips to Pakistan?
I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. I'm 22 and about to start medical school iA in September, and I'm stressing so much on when to start looking for marriage potentials and how I'll possibly be able to plan a wedding with the hectic chaos of medical school and residency. I also want to get married in Pakistan, which makes it even more difficult. How have others planned an amazing, memorable wedding w/ school and work?
Re: How to find the time to have a big, fat Pakistani wedding for a working couple?
^ i totally understand what u r saying, i am also planning on going on to medical school and i would lke to know how everyone plans their wedding with all the busy school/work happenings. if anyone experienced this, it would be great to know ad how they dealt with the situation.
I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. I'm 22 and about to start medical school iA in September, and I'm stressing so much on when to start looking for marriage potentials and how I'll possibly be able to plan a wedding with the hectic chaos of medical school and residency. I also want to get married in Pakistan, which makes it even more difficult. How have others planned an amazing, memorable wedding w/ school and work?
My sister got married (in Srinagar) during her intern year - she was very busy, so she left most of the planning for the wedding itself to my parents and our relatives in Kashmir. She did pick out her own wedding outfits and jewelry - you have quite a bit of free time during your 4th year of med school, so she was able to squeeze in a 2 week trip to Pakistan to meet with designers and get fitted several months beforehand. As for the wedding itself, she ended up flying in a few days before the festivities began. She also hired a wedding planner to coordinate the reception here in the US, which took a lot of stress off of her.
I'm also getting married during residency - since my wedding is closer to home, things are a lot less complicated. I still hired a wedding coordinator to do the ground work for me; from my sister's experience I learned that a good wedding planner is totally worth it.
I wouldn't worry too much...many people have been in your position before and pulled off very nice weddings. Your schedule will certainly be hectic and you'll definitely need help from professionals/family/friends. However, just remember its not totally unmanageable, and you will likely be able to find time to personally plan out the aspects of your wedding that are most important to you.
Thank you janab-e-ali! Your experience and your sister's is very valuable, I think enlisting in the help of professionals and family members is really important and will def. take the stress out of a lot of stuff. Luckily, my mom has great taste, so iA I'll be set when the time comes. Good luck w/ the studies and wedding planning, iA everything will go as planned and it will be memorable!
Re: How to find the time to have a big, fat Pakistani wedding for a working couple?
Was working during the time of my wedding as well and as Janab said family and planners help you go through this process. Because I had just gotten my job, I couldnt go to Pakistan to get my trousseu and family had to choose (I still wish I could have, but that's another story all together). My mom went to Pak and got the other half of my things.
When Id come back from work, would go shopping for all the gifts and home accessories/furniture etc. Went with my parents to see different venues. I couldnt go to the caterers to decide on the wedding menu, but my parents, cousins, uncles, aunts did that for me. All the household activities were planned by cousins and friends as well. One friend is a spectacular mehndi artist and put mehndi on all of my cousins hands. As for the planning itself, a wedding coordinator helped make the wedding organzied. His company made the stage, took care of decorations, photography, videography, music, timing of each events/speech etc.
Friends and family did come from abroad so we decided on a December wedding. Quran khani was one weekend, mayoon the next, and thurs (nikkah), Friday (mehndi), saturday (baraat) and sunday (valima). Believe it or not I actually went to work the day of my mehndi lol but the days I had saved went towards my honeymoon which we went to right away. The out of town guests missed the Mayoon, but were present for the other events. I dont have a sister and my friends and cousins had finals-so I made all the flower garlands myself on the mayoon, but my uncles/aunts/cousins did all of these things for the mehndi and baraat. What also helped was bringing all of the mehndi thalis etc from pakistan so we didnt have to make them here (this takes lots of time and effort).
Re: How to find the time to have a big, fat Pakistani wedding for a working couple?
first u need a journal write down anything and everything,that is important to u..that way even if it isnt as organised on the actual days ..it just seems so as u preplanned...
guest list its easier to minus guests..god forbid if u forget old phupojan...
clothes..who for and how many even ur trousseu...
menu's venues table settings etc..
and the most important thing take help wen given and delegate...
stick to a budget it doesnt hurt as much wen u go over..as u will...lol
this journal will be ur holy grail...keep it handy but safe
good luck..
For a working person, one has to be very organized and plan every thing in advance to do them accordingly. you can save lot of money and time if you do all those things those can be possibly in advance but nowadays the most convenient option is to hire a wedding planner, contact them 5 or 6 months in advance , in two three meeting you can finalize things with them after that you only have to follow up with them which is not that difficult. you don’t have run for every thing and just have to contact one person and he/she will update you with all. we hired a wedding planner for my sister’s wedding and our experience was too good, they took care of every thing as they started from budget allocation, wedding theem, design selection for bridal dress and other dresses as well, then all the wedding function arrangements, venue selection, catering ,stages, music, wedding cards etc . the one we hired was Royale Wedding & Event Planners www.Royale-events.com](http://www.royale-events.com/) see pic gallery for their work.