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Call her by the dog’s name and then deny it.
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Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totallydifferent subject.
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Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
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Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she’s gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.
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Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.
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Call her by your mother’s name and then deny it.
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Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.
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Buy her power tools for Valentine’s Day.
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Never give her a straight answer.
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Take up yodeling and practice a lot.
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Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh!Argh! Argh!)
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Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
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Pretend you forgot how to speak English.
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Answer every question with “Yes, dear.” (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)