My mahr was set by my husband and myself, we discussed it and agreed upon it and then told our parents and they were cool with it. I dont think its anything the parents should decide by themselves without consulting the bride herself, as the mahr is the gift from the groom to her, so she has a right to have a say in it and there is no shame in her asking for what she wants
The only thing I think needs to be kept in mind is: 1. The mahr should not be a burden on the groom, the bride should be considerate and sensitive of what he can or cannot afford. There is more blessing in a mahr that is easier for the groom to pay and does not put a burden or debt on him 2. The mahr should actually be paid to the bride. Some people put huge amounts because they think it looks impressive or something and then the bride never even sees one cent of this. Better to have a smaller mahr that is actually paid, than to put hundreds of thousands of dollars just for show
^agreed!
saratem, you can simply say to your fiance that you were looking at the nikkahnama papers and there is a section in there about mahr and hence you wanna figure out what to put in there. ask him what he thinks is affordable for him and then decide based on that.