A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured
by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad
news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill
you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then
we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good
news is that you can choose how to die.”
The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword.” The chief gives him
a sword, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and runs
himself through.
The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please.” The chief
gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head
and says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled,
but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes
the fork and starts jabbing himself all over–the stomach,
the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing
out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and
asks, “My God, what are you doing?” And the New Yorker
responds, “So much for your damn canoe!”