how to deal with this?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: how to deal with this?

To find that out , open another thread and tell all about how they start and how they end.

22

Re: how to deal with this?

how can i wen he has been extraordinarily rigid and sarru,,he said that "one more time u said sorry and i will be leave the house",,,,he is over reacting over my over-reaction in the fight...if i again go and cuddle him ,i will feel like a chipku to him..

23

Re: how to deal with this?

If you cannot do that then you are not really sorry. :@:
In marital life sometime one has to put his/her ego and the other time the other party has to the same. That is how you resolve domestic disputes.

24

Re: how to deal with this?

Ummm...NO.

It's not about an ego, but if he's realy upset the last thing he wants is to see her or speak to her.. yes it's not ideal, its not fortunate but that's how it is and the sooner she realizes that the better.

cute ainee, regardless of what the fight was about, just give him his space and stop nagging him. I know it's easier said than done but trust me....the sooner you learn to deal with the after arguments (or better yet, learn how to avoid having them in teh first place) th better your married life will be.

25

cutie Annie

Be patience n read ayat kareema, very short but strong dua n pray to Allah to give u patience n help u with difficuties ur having with your hubby

26

Re: how to deal with this?

How rude of him!

You were only louder and ruder than him and in the middle of your apology session, you quit and started watching movies - but really, taking his blanket and going to another room to sleep, O man .. he is some guy I am telling you.

27

Re: how to deal with this?

give him space and allow him to calm down, and if youre always arguing you both need to sit down and discuss why you have these issues in your marital life and try and work things out, inshallah it will all be okay x

28

Re: how to deal with this?

cute aniee how long have the two of you been married?

29

Re: how to deal with this?

You know it and he knows it this isn't true. So relax.

Ps: as a matter of fact we know it too. :D

30

Re: how to deal with this?

honey you need to sit back and translate your verbal sorry into your actions. I believe this is how he wants it and this is how it is going to work. Living in a Pardes (I guess you both live abroad) is not easy. No matter what, most of the men always keep their love for their homeland kindled in their hearts and they already do not like the idea much, of living away from what they love. Maybe the cooperation and understanding he expects from you is not there and he is disappointed.

Dont panic and dont be afraid of losing him either. Not this soon. I guess he has ended up with this silence treatment because maybe he wants you to think over your attitude which you will obviously not if the things come back to normal state. Thats why he doesnt want to hear your apologies, he wants a practical demo of that.

If your fights are not bringing out better and constructive results STOP FIGHTING. Or it will only lead your relationship into further vulnerabilities.

You can always come here and discuss the issues which turn into fights. Members here, coming with all kind of perspectives, can help you understanding the situation and a better way to handle it too.

31

Re: how to deal with this?

If you want that next time after an argument, he is running after you for attention and saying sorry to you, then instead of becoming a "Cute Ainee" try becoming a "Mute Smilee" throughout.

j/k. Sorry, couldn't resist. I hope you are not offended.

32

If you cannot do that then you are not really sorry. :@:
In marital life sometime one has to put his/her ego and the other time the other party has to the same. That is how you resolve domestic disputes.
[/quote]

I completely agree with you.its not only related to hubby n wife but to all relations.if we luv someone we should never allow ego to cum between us.we wil waste precious time cuddlin ego while we should be cuddlin our luved one.

33

Re: how to deal with this?

**well yesterday late night,he came to our bedroom and slept..then today morning,i made him breakfast but he didnt eat and we went to school(well i had an interview in a school)..the whole way he was quiet and me too...then i went to school and came back..again on the way to home, he was quiet for the most of the time except he asked me,what happened in the interview..we talked a bit and then silence,,we came back home,he ate breakfast that was still lying on the table,i made him tea again and went to another room and started listening to songs and cleaned up the room..then wen he was ready for the office,he asked me what about the lunch..should i bring that for u..and i said no,there is enough food in the house..then he said goodbye and went and said i will be late..
well today and yesterday i pretended to be pretty normal but he is "like pahari cherh ra hai"...anyways his saying goodbye and asking me for lunch was a bit improvement..

but i didnt like this whole idea of his being so rude and silent and all this..i am not liking married life at all :(

yesterday wen i was telling him how much i cook food and clean house for him,he said "rehne dow ye ehsaan and go back to pakistan,i can live alone"..see he is such a ----------------
**

34

Re: how to deal with this?

Lol, I agree with Mirch, just go cuddle with him, what are you waiting for? Sometimes actions speak volumes over words. Rather than just saying sorry over and over - give him a hug, don't pester him so much about forgiving you, do things/make things that he likes for the next few days. It's only a matter of time that he'll melt. If you can't bring it in yourself to hug it out/do things to make him feel better... then you're probably not sorry. If that's the case, work on it and everything will be fine.
I know when I'm angry, even though at the moment I'll hate every word he says and every gesture he tries... I can't not talk to him for long, lol. Ceesy - but when you love someone... you can't hold it back for long. =)

35

Re: how to deal with this?

what love..i can't see and feel love anywhere...love is just a moment and thats it..otherwise married life is all about roti, khana, ghar ki safayi huh

36

Re: how to deal with this?

Peace cute ainee

I understand you, but you are making a few mistakes with your approach to your husband.

a) When you apologise - do so once and not again and again - woh sar per na char jai!
b) When you apologise carry on doing nice things
c) Try to make him laugh and behave mature about it and say "the mark of a good person is one who takes time to get angry, but gets happy quickly"
d) Be patient with him
e) If he runs away from you go to him and be as dutiful as you can
f) He will want to test you - so if you bring him water, don't put it next to him and start watching films by yourself, but hold it and stand next to him with the water. Just until this heated period ends.
g) Even if you feel bored son't run off and start listening to songs be next to him and even if there is silence - say "I don't need to talk about anything just being here is enough for me"
h) Tell him you love him

Some people have emotional run away ... so you need to cater for that until it is over ... but try not to show indifference when he gives you the cold shoulder.

37

Re: how to deal with this?

Or Play, Ek Bar Muskura Do by Munni begum, it always works

38

Re: how to deal with this?

you can't coerce/pester someone into forgiving you either...........he will come around.....sooner or later...

but you need to learn that not everything can be on your own terms.......... try to do something about it or this will keep hapenning.

39

Re: how to deal with this?

Correct... are you both students? why did you get married? you thought married life was like in the movies?

40

Re: how to deal with this?

i shud have been a bit like that :bummer: