How to deal with parents, family and stress?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Now before you say anything - I know someone will want to comment ‘you should just be happy you have parents’ or blah blah whatever, I need real advice! :slight_smile:

My brother is getting married next week and it is causing a lot of stress and craziness around my house (we have a lot of family staying with us - 15 people on top of the 5 people in the house already) and it is making my brother act like a douche and my parents crazy. They get stressed, and my mum especially offloads it all on me cos I am the youngest and the one at home the most. This is turn is making me upset and miserable - but this concept is unknown to my family and instead they say I am acting moody. This just adds to it and blah blah blah the cycle continues…maybe you can see what I mean?

I just want to be out of the house at all times- BUT I can’t cos I have to work most days- and so I make excuses to leave to go out even after work and just drive around or go to my friends or to a cafe to read…when I come home mum goes on about all you do is eat out and do nothing. And I am just like WTF I’ve been working all day…

I just wanna know…how the hell do people deal with this stress??? I’m 23…I don’t wanna be married asap, in fact I wanna stay home to do MA in a couple of years. How can I deal with this the older I get. Problem is no matter how old I get, I am seen as the baby of the house and it sucks. This isn’t even just seasonal behaviour cos of the wedding - this is all the time! Nagging and whatnot…I’m sure you guys living with your parents know what I mean…

Please yogo, meditation, something…tell me what to do to relax and destress?!

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

find a husband and move out...it's a real solution and quite practicable. :)

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

How can the solution be to move from one stress to another stress????
Forget that!

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

How can the solution be to move from one stress to another stress????
Forget that!

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

lolz…ok ok…i get it…but please don’t scare me coz i am gonna marry soon…i’m trembling already! :snooty:

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

Lol…best of luck. :biggthumb:

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

thankoo :slight_smile: stopped trembling! :slight_smile:

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

That is the only way to appreciate what you have.

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

m,eh in one ear out the other. If you're working and have the independence, cant' you say that you're working late? Even if you're just going to unwind after work.

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How to deal with parents, family and stress?

Just tell yourself one week! One week to go and it will be over weddings do cause alot of stress just learn to put in one ear out the other and just maybe avoid home when you can or get busy with wedding preps maybe speak to your brother maybe its getting alot for him aswell

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

Nothing you can really do except stay outta the house as much as you can, and then go home to face to reality of chaos sooner or later. I think alot of us asians can relate to what you're going through, where your mum doesn't see anything good you do but rather all the negative or to just find a reason to complain about something you've been doing. Maybe it's their way of showing you they care or maybe there are other intentions, I have no idea cause I still scratch my head thinking about why mine argues with me over minor stuff when I am home even though I have been obviously working all day and this is the last thing I need when I get home.

You can always move out. If not, just chin up and accept it's reality. Find a place within yourself that keeps you happy, even if it's just listening to music when you're at home. Go about your daily routine and before a blink of an eye none of this stuff will matter anymore, and years would have passed.

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

I mean no disrespect but the fact that you would prefer to stay out of the house at a time when your family needs you is telling of your immaturity. Rather than seek escape for yourself, wouldn't it be nice if you could come home and contribute in a good way to the situation?

Granted you are working and I'm sure get tired at your job, but your mother has no such possible escape from the chaos at home. She is immersed in it 24 hours a day. Have a heart.

As well as the stresses of the impending wedding, which takes its toll on any family, your parents are dealing with an enormous number of house guests. That is never a walk in the clouds.

It's only for a couple of weeks.

In terms of dealing with the stress.....I don't know how religious you are but for me namaz works....it acts like meditation and gives me the patience that I need to deal with stuff. I ask for Allah's mercy and beg him to give me strength and perseverance.

Remind yourself that this is a very temporary situation. Things will improve as soon as the guests leave and your mother has less stress.

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

you should just be happy that you have parents ...really.

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

@Muzna I help out with as much of the wedding preparations as I can.I go work all day, come home do whatever they want me to do and do as much extra as I can, and then THEN I leave my house for any odd reason.

You don't need to question my maturity or my heart.

But I pray wedding ends soon lol....

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

I'm also happy your here to point that out for me

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

koi nahi. aisey chotey motey ehsan tu hum sotey howey bhi ker daitey hain

:chai:

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

Lol. :|

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

^Ello there Beebs :-)

Welcome to the madness of wedding planning. My sister got married 2 months ago so I know all too well the craziness, the mood swings, the hypersensitivity that your family is currently going through. Wedding planning, for the most part, ain't fun. There's the financial stress, the tension of getting a myriad of things done on time, and add to that dealing with the complex emotions of your kid "growing up."

My sister told me what she needed my help with and I helped her; it alleviates some of the stress from your parents and siblings cuz one or two people can't do everything. So, try to help the out where you can. Ask your brother or mom what you can do. When you're out of the home, ask them if they need you to get any wedding-related supplies. Maybe you can help with making things...with ordering cards...with seating arrangements...with making phone calls to find rates on catering and other things. What helped me stay a float was to avoid initiating opinions. If I was asked for one, I gave it. But for the most part I avoided giving opinions during heated debates between my sis and parents on some wedding issue or another. If I saw there was gonna be no budging, I stayed out. At times I was stuck between mom and sister...trying to mediate/placate them toward each other, lol. But yeah....it's a tough time and just watch...on the wedding day you'll think, "Months worth of hassle and it was over in the blink of an eye, lol." You just have to ride it out. You can attempt talking to your dad or bro about getting mom to go easy on you, but if you fear she'll only get more upset...then let it go. Best thing for sanity is prayer/dhikar....cuz distracting yourself with friends and other activities only goes so far.

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Re: How to deal with parents, family and stress?

It's great that you are contributing to the household chores. You didn't state that in your original message. In fact you said that you like to go out after work and that your mother says you don't do anything. So perhaps it wasn't clear that you, in fact, go to work, come home, do a large amount of work at home and then still find time to go out and sit in a cafe and read. I must have been totally off the mark because that is a feat indeed!! Good for you!