Re: How to deal with my ex husband
You’re worried about what people will say if they saw you with your ex-husband in public…but you’re not worried what they will say if they found out that you allowed him inside your home without another adult present? 
I simply get the feeling that you’re too nice and you’re allowing everyone (him and your children) to control the situation. Here are my thoughts:
-
You mother is right. He should call you when he’s on his way. As soon as he pulls up on the driveway, you and the 4 kids need to go outside. This is not cruel. In the U.S., this is a very typical arrangement where the ex-wife or husband picks up children outside the home. In many situations, the ex doesn’t even come to the house. They will have a mutually agreed place such as a park or restaurant where the kids are dropped off.
-
You need to explain to all your children that sometimes you need some time to yourself…just to relax, spend time with your friends, or to care of errands. You need to tell them there is nothing wrong with this, and you are not sad or upset at being by yourself if they go with spend time with your dad without you.
-
You are the mother here. I understand that your 3 teens are home bodies…but its not going to cause them harm to go outside the home with their dad for a few hours. As the parents, you and your ex-husband need to pick a place outside your home where your ex can spend a few hours with them. It can be a restaurant, park, ex’s mom’s home wherever. Once that place has been chosen, you TELL…yes TELL not ask…your 4 children that they will either be picked up or dropped off at that location.
You being nice and understanding has led to him slapping your behind. Put a stop to this before it goes further the next time.