I’ve been dating this girl for a few months now and I might wanna settle down with her in a few years. I had like the biggest crush on her since like high school and now I’ve finally gotten her. But the thing is she’s Indian Hindu and Im a Pakistani Christian so I don’t know how Im gonna convince my parents and how she would convince her parents. My mom preferably wants me to marry a Pakistani also most likely the same religion as us.
Re: How to convince my parents
Should have thought about it before you committed bro.
I dont want to sound harsh but 2 of my friends are dating people their parents will not approve of, they want their parents to be happy with someone they KNOW their parents wont be happy with and are now sitting crying in regret of why they ever got themselves into this in the first place.
I think you should definitely try and convince your mother by any means you can think of but prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Re: How to convince my parents
**i guess you may tell your parents. they might accept because i do NOT think that it's christian religious requirement to marry a christian girl...if they do NOT accept, talk to your GF. this is a common problem these days and to quiet the parents, girl/boy convert for the sake of marriage. she might convert if her family does NOT object.
to be honest, knowing your parents, you must have thought about this b4 you got involved with this girl and committed yourself. believe it or NOT, u r in between a rock and a hard place.**
Re: How to convince my parents
i guess you may tell your parents. they might accept because i do NOT think that it's christian religious requirement to marry a christian girl..
Agree.. Also, I thought it's not that uncommon for Hindus to 'marry out' these days as well.. One of my best friends is a Hindu guy and a couple of his cousins are married to Christian girls (one of the couples had a Christian wedding and a Hindu ceremony).. Not sure if they are stricter with their daughters.. Guess it depends a lot on the family..
Re: How to convince my parents
I dont want to sound harsh but 2 of my friends are dating people their parents will not approve of, they want their parents to be happy with someone they KNOW their parents wont be happy with and are now sitting crying in regret of why they ever got themselves into this in the first place.
I think a lot of the time the parents do come round in the end tho.. My mum was one of them (in the case of my brother's now wife).. Patience is the best thing in these situations, most parents aren't ruthless/heartless/stubborn enough to risk losing their child over their choice of partner.. Apart from my brother we know a few other families in these situations and in all but one case it all worked out fine..
Re: How to convince my parents
Ghar chor kar bhaag jao :)
Re: How to convince my parents
Awww! You sound like a friend of mine. He's happily married now mashallah, though he did struggle a bit as well. Hope it turns out well for you. Anyways...back to the topic.
Both of you need to make a list of things about the other one that you would not be able to find in anyone else that your parents would suggest, since not only there is the religious thing, but also the nationality thing. Things like qualifications, family, friends, as well as compatibility and anything else you think will help your case. Then you need to sincerely sit with your parents and tell them the story. That you've had a crush on this girl for so many years and now it feels like you have accomplished something, and that your feelings towards her aren't fleeting. Try not arguing with the parents since they don't like it =/ But just...have a talk and keep having a talk.
Re: How to convince my parents
I think a lot of the time the parents do come round in the end tho.. My mum was one of them (in the case of my brother's now wife).. Patience is the best thing in these situations, most parents aren't ruthless/heartless/stubborn enough to risk losing their child over their choice of partner.. Apart from my brother we know a few other families in these situations and in all but one case it all worked out fine..
Yeah some parents do come around I am not doubting that at all, i just think in terms of where there is a religious barrier its harder.
Also I was having this discussion with my friends (the ones who are dating guys of different religions) and we were all talking about our experiences ( mine being i was in a relationship 4 years ago with a guy my parents would not have approved of even though he was muslim) and we all sort of said the same things, if it is a choice between unhappy parents on the wedding day or losing the Boyfriend we would ditch the boyfriend in the blink of an eye.
All three of us have parents who are getting older now and all of us have parents with health issues, and although my parents are crying in their turmoil they say they would rather leave their boyfriends than cause even one moment of stress to their parents, i guess im the same.
Im really glad it worked out for your brother you know :)
Im just quite cynical when it comes to these matters and have discovered when my parents are happy, even though sometimes their happiness comes in weird twisted ways I live my life much more peacefully.
Re: How to convince my parents
before talking to your parents, did you even ask the girl what her plans are? indian girls are not like Pakistani girls. they are career oriented.
Re: How to convince my parents
**i guess you may tell your parents. they might accept because i do NOT think that it's christian religious requirement to marry a christian girl...if they do NOT accept, talk to your GF. this is a common problem these days and to quiet the parents, girl/boy convert for the sake of marriage. she might convert if her family does NOT object.
to be honest, knowing your parents, you must have thought about this b4 you got involved with this girl and committed yourself. believe it or NOT, u r in between a rock and a hard place.**
Your right I dont think there are any religious requirements but its just that my mom prefers someone from the same country and same religion. Honestly I don't see why she needs to convert to a religion just for the sake of marriage. Even Im not that religious.
Awww! You sound like a friend of mine. He's happily married now mashallah, though he did struggle a bit as well. Hope it turns out well for you. Anyways...back to the topic.
Both of you need to make a list of things about the other one that you would not be able to find in anyone else that your parents would suggest, since not only there is the religious thing, but also the nationality thing. Things like qualifications, family, friends, as well as compatibility and anything else you think will help your case. Then you need to sincerely sit with your parents and tell them the story. That you've had a crush on this girl for so many years and now it feels like you have accomplished something, and that your feelings towards her aren't fleeting. Try not arguing with the parents since they don't like it =/ But just...have a talk and keep having a talk.
Hmm yeah I guess your right. Also for some reason I want to move back to Pakistan after a few years even though I have never lived there. I guess thats another issue.
Ghar chor kar bhaag jao :)
Lol maybe I should if all things fail.
Agree.. Also, I thought it's not that uncommon for Hindus to 'marry out' these days as well.. One of my best friends is a Hindu guy and a couple of his cousins are married to Christian girls (one of the couples had a Christian wedding and a Hindu ceremony).. Not sure if they are stricter with their daughters.. Guess it depends a lot on the family..
Well her parents are from somewhere in Punjab, so I just felt that maybe they might have some problems with me.
before talking to your parents, did you even ask the girl what her plans are? indian girls are not like Pakistani girls. they are career oriented.
I don't think her career will stop her from marrying me. Its not like Im going to stop her from working after marriage.
Re: How to convince my parents
Should have thought about it before you committed bro.
I dont want to sound harsh but 2 of my friends are dating people their parents will not approve of, they want their parents to be happy with someone they KNOW their parents wont be happy with and are now sitting crying in regret of why they ever got themselves into this in the first place.
I think you should definitely try and convince your mother by any means you can think of but prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Well honestly I hadn't even though about marriage when I started going out with her. I'm the type of guy that isn't into serious relationships but I don't know, shes like the perfect person for me. I think I could convince my parents but its just her parents Im worried about.
Re: How to convince my parents
Lol maybe I should if all things fail.
Impressed with your high spirit :)
Re: How to convince my parents
Have you met her parents yet?
Re: How to convince my parents
I've been dating this girl for a few months now and I might wanna settle down with her in a few years. I had like the biggest crush on her since like high school and now I've finally gotten her. But the thing is she's Indian Hindu and Im a Pakistani Christian so I don't know how Im gonna convince my parents and how she would convince her parents. My mom preferably wants me to marry a Pakistani also most likely the same religion as us.
Don't be a chicken , you are giving a bad name to Heer-Ranjha, Sohni-Mahinwal , Liala-Manjoon , Romeo-Joliet and all. There souls would be so restless if they are reading your post. :D
Preach that girl to convert , that will help you to plead your case and convince your mother.
Re: How to convince my parents
the whole discussion is pointless if her intentions are not as strong as yours'.
what does she think?