I understand that venting can bring some relief. But along with that, you need some tough love.
You will never be able to “forget” whatever it is that he did to you. Jab humain choti si choti/mamooli/faltoo kisam ki baatain yaad rehti hain to painful baatain ko kaisay bhoola ja sakta hai??? Aur bhoolna bhi nahin chahiye because then you won’t learn any lesson from it. Ghaltiyan mit to nahin sakti…lekin un se seekha to ja sakta hai na? That’s life and everybody goes through this, not only you. In fact, some people are in a WORSE situation than you. Think about those who have less than you and are suffering more than you.
You keep saying that he ruined 5 years of your life. And we don’t know the details of what happened in your relationship and if you don’t feel comfortable sharing them, that’s fine. But…if he misled you for 5 years…is it possible that maybe you allowed yourself to be misled? Ab koi tumhay ZABARDASTI to 5 saal sabar nahin karvaa sakta na? Chahay doosra banda tumahay kitna bhi emotionally pressure karay…tum apni marzi ki malik ho. If he was making a fool out of you…you didn’t have to wait that long for him. If he was a coward buzdil insaan…you didn’t have to wait for him. Tum agar chahti to yeh bhi keh sakti thi k 1-2 years k andar agar us ne rishta nahin bheja, to phir I am moving on with my life. Lekin us ne rishta nahin bheja…aur tum us ka wait karti gayi. Ho sakta hai k woh tum main interested na ho…aur us k paas itni himmat nahin thi k woh tumhay seedhi tarha yeh bataye k woh ab interested nahin hai. Maybe he was buz dil. Us ki ghalati thi, lekin tumhari ghalati bhi to hai k tum us ka wait karti gayi. Is larkay k ilava is duniya main bahut se log hain jo k kisi ka dil rakhnay k liye jhoot bol dain ge and you have to be strong enough to see that they’re not serious.
^^^For example…tum kisi ko apnay ghar invite karti ho…aur woh banda baar baar bahanay de kar invitation ko refuse kar deta hai. Aik point k baad tum is baat ko realize karo gi k yeh banda sincere nahin hai…aur tum se milne main interested nahin hai aur us ko invite karne ka ya wait karne main koi faida nahin.
Take this as a learning experience sweetheart. Believe me I know it’s easier said than done. But in the future, don’t allow yourself to wait for 5 years for ANY guy.
“Historically bitter” ka matlab hai that you have “always” been bitter. Now, that does not sound positive or even reasonable. You are not historically bitter. Is larkay k aanay se pehlay bhi tum jee rahi thi…tumhari zindagi thi. Think about it. I’m sure you smiled, laughed, and had FUN…BEFORE this guy ever entered your life. And inshaAllah eventually you’ll have that same happiness again.
You already lost 5 years to him (and because of your own mistake of waiting for him),.now don’t waste another second on him. Do you want to waste 5 years and 5 more hours on him? Do you want to waste 5 years and 6 months on him? Do you want to waste 6, 7, 8 years on him? NO, right??? So, don’t give him any more power over you. Life is already short, don’t make it shorter by thinking about him. Instead spend your time with people who truly love you and care about (like friends and family).
Imagine being married to someone who doesn’t care about you. That would be much worse. Allah has a plan for everyone. Seek strength and help through prayer/namaz. You won’t forget…but with time, the intensity of the hurt will decrease.
Thanks dear, u r right, its mine mistake aswell, i gave him hold on maself, n ofcourse i hve learned a big lesson cuz ov my mistakes, i dont even will to waste my 1 sec by looking at his pic, he never deserve me , ur post really helped me alot, n ofcourse all ov yew are super caring one
