How to be strong & stop the urge/temptation..

[TheNoodle]

Re: How to be strong & stop the urge/temptation..

@redvelvet

1) YOU ended the relationship with him, Pinkyy. So, it’s over. If you reach out to him, it makes you look immature and fickle…like you don’t know what you want and can’t stick to your decisions. If you were uncertain about him…then you should have waited it out.

2) If I recall correctly, it didn’t seem like you two had a happy/healthy relationship and that you weren’t met with the same level of reciprocity from him. So, I don’t understand why you feel the need to check up on him to see if he’s “okay.” Chances are he’s fine and that he’s doing much better than you. After all…despite you being the dumper…he never contacted you to seek a clarification about the break-up, he never called you begging him to take him back, he didn’t even call/text/email to ask if you were okay. So, if he’s not bothered about your well-being…why are you so concerned about his?

3) You might argue that you still think of him as a “friend” and that’s why you’re curious. Hmmm…if you guys were in anything that could be remotely considered a romantic relationship for even a brief duration…you did not have a strictly platonic relationship. You’re not going to have that friendy-dynamics with him should you contact him again…it’ll just be awkward. You might ask how he’s doing and blabber on…and he’ll give you succint responses and cut it short, leaving you feeling hurt once more. Or perhaps you’ll send him a message and he’ll never respond, leaving you feeling rejected and foolish and you’ll drive yourself batty trying to figure out all the possible reasons as to why he didn’t reply. Or maybe he’ll actually pick up and hold a conversation and you risk getting hurt again because you guys won’t be on the same page expectations-wise, or you’ll start up a relationship once more only to eventually realize that he hasn’t changed and that an ex is an ex for a reason. So, Pinkyy…what good will come from “seeing if he’s okay”, hmm? Plus, he has his pride as well and it may be uncomfortable for him to talk to you. I think it’s “more” than just curiosity on your part…I wonder if it’s an ego-issue or maybe that you’re still interested.

4) **^**If it’s the latter, he knows how to reach you. If he were interested and truly wanted to make things work or even to maintain solely a friendship with you(which can be tricky to do with opposite genders)…he would have stayed in touch. It doesn’t seem like he’s even interested in being just friends. I could understand if perhaps you were the one who was dumped or if things were in the “beginning stages” where you’re trying to get a feel for him/figure him out and felt some uncertainty. But you ended it…so move on.

5) To an extent, I agree with Hitman about some of your views. I think it’s better to let it go. ***Wishy-washy behavior such as staying in touch and then disappearing, responding and then leaving the person hanging, breaking up and then reaching out…it can be hurtful coming from either gender. You’ll think of him less often if you stay busy. Good luck.

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