how to be polite consciously

Lifestyle Relationships
1

i need some guidance here. I have been under some stress lately DH has been on a project out of town and i am left behind with a toddler and a three month old demanding baby.. i am not complaining about my husband as this was a joint decision but i feel like that i am getting way more stressed than i need to. my toddler has just started talking so he talks ALL the time and the little one always wants to be held.. i feel like i am always on a run and some one or another is crying for me to talk to them or give them attention..any ways, tho i have been able to handle the kids and the house, what has started to happen ( i think) is that i have started coming across as bossy,annoyed and in a rush when i am talking to other people. the other day my mechanic snapped at me because he thought he was being rushed and then yesterday my AC guy snapped saying.. " WE CANT KEEP COMING BACK"… i know for a fact that i wasn’t trying to be rude or mean but i feel like may be my tone is pissing people off and making them feel like they are being ordered.. i have tried to sit back and re think the conversations but i cant really find any thing wrong in the words. i was wondering if some body knew what i was going through and had some tips on how to be extra polite and what phrases and tone should be used that doesn’t make me feel like i am begging. i really need some serious support and would appreciate all wellwishing answers.. thanks

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Re: how to be polite consciously

sometimes we just have too much going on and we simply can't change the circumstances.
try this technique....before you open you mouth to say anything at all...take a breath and smile......then proceed.
I know this sounds very simplistic and you may even wonder how something as easy as this could change the outcome of your day but give it a try.

hope things get better for you very soon.....

3

Re: how to be polite consciously

Hmm. Well if it makes you feel any better, you're not going to see the mechanic and AC guy all the time. Maybe they were the ones already in a bad mood? Do other people in your life such as friends and relatives have the same complaints? If so, then I think it's more of a problem as you have closer ties with them. I have a friend who has two toddlers who are not yet in preschool and a 4-month-old baby, so she has her hands full like you. She nicely lets her friends know that she can't always talk cuz she's so busy and so this helps then understand not to take her unavailability or her hurriedness so personally. So, maybe you can try this as well.

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Re: how to be polite consciously

Could this be PPD? Try to post it in "Parenting".

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Re: how to be polite consciously

Words that come out of a persons mouth account to only 20 percent of the meaning, the living I make is completely dependent on how much people like me so I try to work at being happy all the time and stay positive. My sweet wife also went thru the same things, we had back to back 3 caesarean children. First of all realize that the easiest way to get things done is the slowest.

Body language, tone of voice, speed of delivery and how we dress also contributes to the message, N told me that when she dresses really well she feels people are more polite.

Here is the scenario, stand up straight with shoulders out, thru your body language project an image of strength, confidence and yet be polite and friendly. Project a strong and firm but friendly voice. Introduce yourself, build quick rapport by appreciating them a bit small talk and let them know, that you have very demanding young ones. Every one that I come across loves me because, I take the time to observe them and give them sincere compliments, the show home cleaners leave me extra supply, the mat guy is always friendly with me and everyone in the office smiles at me, just because of a few compliments.

My best assistant and dear friend Bridgette had a huge problem where a lot of customers would get very rude with her, I mentored her. She was stunningly beautiful, very educated and one of the classiest people you can come across but yet customers were always rude and aggressive with her. The problem was that she did not project strength and confidence. I coached her to use words that project strength, body language and proper intonation. People are like animals they will attack if they sense weakness.

If people normally talk slow and you talk fast with them they will hate you and if the talk fast and you slow they hate you. If you want to be liked you kind of have to adjust your talking style to theirs.

If I have more time, I will discuss the amygdala hijack of the brain and how to respond rather than react.

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Re: how to be polite consciously

thanks every one these advice do make me feel that i should be ok inshAllah..

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Re: how to be polite consciously

Also, when I know that I going to be talking fast because I am in a hurry, I always say I am sorry I might come across rude to u when I don't mean to be because I am in a rush.

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Re: how to be polite consciously

He is your AC repair guy and the other is your mechanic - is it really that big of a deal that they feel like they are "being ordered"? That's just part of their job unfortunately. I thought you were going to say something about family or friends.

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Re: how to be polite consciously

What is DH?

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Re: how to be polite consciously

^ dear husband

11

Re: how to be polite consciously

yes unfortunately it does effect me.. even today i think about what i was doing wrong and how i can make the mechanic not be mad at me.. not that hes the only mechanic in the city.. but still i wouldnt want to leave ppl behind me who are mad at me.

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Re: how to be polite consciously

never thought about it like that.. i guess talking fast = rude