Re: how to be a good host and hostess?
I guess it depends who you are dealing with… if your guests are a bit shallow and ONLY notice the number of dishes you feed 'em, then any other sincerity from the host will go un-noticed.
I know this lady, she went to her neighbours house at lunch time (unannounced), they were having lunch so they asked 'em to join in and have what they were having, that being daal. This lady felt insulted! like “yeh koi tareeqa hai, hum mehmaan haiN” blah blah blah… then she just blamed their host’s “rudeness” on their ethnicity 
whereas you meet people who really take you into account… like we go to our family friend’s place and they always have at least 1 dish made from potato (coz my sis likes 'em so much)… its these little things that matter.