edited on request
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Just be her friend. I think that's a general rule with any elderly. Get to know them, and you'll find out what makes her happy and what doesn't.
patience and learn to bite your tongue when needs be
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Find out her likes and dislikes from your fiance
Spend time with her, take her shopping, buy her presents, etc
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Do men do any of that for their MIL's? Just curious to hear of your experiences.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Always ask her for her opinion. Take interest in her interests. Don't be judgemental. She will get the vibes from you.
PCG, my husband is brilliant with his MIL. In fact she values his opinion more that her daughter’s 
. He is so patient with her and treats he with utmost respect.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Kabbalah?
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Look this is unacceptable. This forum has standards. And the main aspect of that standard is to ***** about your inlaws regardless of what they did and how much you personally led to the problems. So you either cease and desist with your activities, or the 99th Aunty Brigade will take necessary action to maintain the putrid sanctity of this forum.
You have been warned.
My hubby adores my mum and treats her with the upmost respect. Both my parents consider him a son rather than SIL, they confide in him, they have a laugh with him and he does the same.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
I think the key is to always talk and communicate with each other regularly. My MIL is currently in Pak, and in the 20 odd months I have been married we chat at least once a week and have a little natter over the phone. When my MIL was over in UK visiting, I involved her in eveyrthing I did.. If I was going grocery shopping I would say, "c'mon Mum, lets go shopping".. or if I bought some clothes I would ask her opinion on how to have them sewn.. or if I was making something (foodwise), I would ask her if she preferred it a certain way..
My MIL makes it easier for me to get on with her as she aint no "aunti jee" and she is very chilled and down to Earth.. and not to mention, hilarious..!! My husband must have inherrited the funny gene and he is always joking around with my Mum.. And when the two of them (Husband and MIL) get together, I swear, I get stitches from them making me laff so much.. And don't get me started on my FIL.. He cracks me up and is the sweetest ever..
I love them all so much.. May Allah (swt) keep them happy and give them a long and fulfilling life.. Ameen..
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Take time out for her- go shopping together or even within the home, just spend time together.
Get to her know hers likes and dislikes.
Be friendly.
Ask for advice and opinions- Ask her how to cook certain dishes, what is the best way to do this etc etc.
Be tactful- If you get offended then don't lash out. MILs have feelings too.
I guess you should genuinely want to do these things, otherwise I guess, potentially the fake niceness could backfire too.
I am pretty close to my mother in law. I would not say I am as close to her as my own mother though. But, I have given her the same respect as I would give my own mother.
Never felt the need to call her mudpie face or anything close to that.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Personally I don't think it has anything to do with taking her shopping or buying her tofa's, is that what you do for your mother too?
*You need to go into a marriage thinking of her as your own mother and treat her just like her own daughters would. Like make sure to be in the same room as her as much as you can be, watch tv, read books/newspapers together, take her out to lunches. Let her tell you her long tails from when she was young, and all. *
Take it upon youself to be the best daughter that she ever had.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
Given that my wife gets along perfectly fine with my mother, and that my brother's wife gets along perectly fine with my mother, I am forced to conclude that either most of the married girls on this forum are defective, or their mother-in-laws are defective.
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
***Your Mother in law is your MIL , She is not your MOTHER . ***
***So don’t treat her like you would your MOTHER. ***
What I mean is that a lot of times we do or say things to our Moms and they take it in the spirit it was said because they’ve known us forever that another WOMAN would probably whack you on the head for !
*** Our Moms let us get away with murder most of the times , they do things for us because we are their daughters. ***
Your MIL is a person who has set tastes , ideas and expectations and to be able to befriend her you have to earn her respect and trust.
Treat her how you would a good friend. Oh and she won’t make it easy ! 
And its always good to zip your mouth in front of her …
Re: How to be a BUDDY of your mother in law?
the best advice i got about this is to treat your MIL like you treat your boss. give her respect, be open and honest with her, communicate, and keep your distance. familiarity breeds contempt, IMO, and never is this more apparent than between women and their daughter's in law.
also, in my experience, the relationship your husband will have with your parents will always be more chilled and relaxed than what you will have with your mil. its unfortunate, but a fact of life. comparing the two won't help- so don't.
try to build your relationship with your mil independent of any expectations- its hard, but it can be done, i think. she will always be his mother, and she will always have an opinion. accept this and learn to deal with it. you can express yourself without being rude or insensitive, but at the same time its really important to know your limits and boundaries and make her aware of them too.
Given that my wife gets along** perfectly fine** with my mother, and that my brother's wife gets along perectly fine with my mother, I am forced to conclude that either most of the married girls on this forum are defective, or their mother-in-laws are defective.
... because it is coming from you... Not from your wife or from your bhabi
sheyn you right