Re: How to Balance between Mother and Wife?
While this is well-intentioned advice, I think trying to make everyone happy can lead to you constantly tiptoeing around people and being afraid of offending someone, and you just end up being miserable and anxious all the time, and the other person can feel it. Especially because it often leads to people being evasive and indirect, even dishonest.
If you believe that your mom just wants to spend more time with you, do give her that. But also be straight-forward about what you are doing and why. Don’t apologize for or hide the time that you want to spend with your wife. Don’t make your wife feels like she has to apologize for taking you away. That’s not what’s happening, despite your mother’s fears and accusations.
And I disagree with Southie. I doubt your mother actually wants to come between you. But IF she is insecure, then it’s also possible that she needs to control your relationships, as insecure people often do. They become nervous when things are out of their control/influence. It’s not a conscious choice. But they will do things, often dishonest and manipulative things, to get back in control. I think you need to be clear that your mother is not to lie or go behind your back. Set this boundary to make your life easier.